Go Ahead and Break
by Panic.and.Pride
Summary: This is my very own Oneshot collection. Shounenai! or Yaoi! mostly EdxEnvy. but there may be others! I hope you enjoy it!
1. Why You Should Always Lock Your Windows

**Why You Should Always Lock Your Windows**

**Hello Hello!**

**Ah, I love the smell of a first fan fiction in the morning! This is my first story on all my other stories are on I decided I'll give a chance.**

**Warnings: boyxboy goodness, OOC- ness and swearing. Rated 'T' because……well, just because it is, you get? Of course you do!**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! Though I bought the first volume of the manga today! I love it, it's so cute!**

**cough anyway, I hope you enjoy this! I wrote this at 12:43am, so it may not makes much sense.**

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Ed could not believe it. Really, him, sick! It just doesn't happen.

But fate was a being a bitch today.

Ed lied in bed sick, with a common cold and sore throat. God, who even gets those anymore? Ed suddenly went into another coughing fit, which killed this throat even more. Those coughing fits would cause any normal person to back away slowly, and quickly exit the room, in fear they would catch the cold.

"Nii-san, cover your mouth when you sneeze, please…… he he, that rhymed!" said the 7' foot armour of Ed's younger brother; Al. Al stuck his head around the corner of the door.

"It's ok Nii-san, I'll be back soon with some medicine!" Al also yelled, as he quickly walked away from the dorm door, jus the case Ed went through another fit, and started to throw stuff at Al.

It was one of the only good things about being only a soul tramped in a suit of armour that you didn't get sick. Roy, when he heard about Ed being sick and after he stopped laughing, ordered Al to take care of Ed, since no one else would go near him, in case _they_ got sick. So Al was stuck taking care of Ed. But he didn't mind, he was always taking care of Ed anyway.

But there is something else on this planet that doesn't get sick. It's called a Homunculus. And it just so happens that one of them was sitting on a tree limb, just outside the window of Ed and Al's dorm.

A Homunculus that looked like a palm tree.

And what a scene that would make if a normal person saw that palm tree haired person in the tree. They would think _what the fuck? Is that a palm tree, sitting, in that other tree?_' and mostly likely called the fire station, or a tree place, to report what they saw.

But anyway,

Now (If you haven't guessed already who it is you're a bit slow) Envy had been watching Ed for a while now. Ever since Ed got sick yesterday, in fact. He was just waiting for a moment like this one, when Al left the dorm, to go and cure Ed, his way.

After making sure that Al did leave the building, Envy then opened the window, and let himself in.

Ed was not very happy about this.

Even in his sick state, he could recognize the person who opened and jumped in his dorm. Please, the hair was a dead give away.

"AHHH! What the fuck to do want Envy?" he cried, or should I say croaked, out, trying to move as far away as he could from said intruder. But the bed he was lying in was right near the window and had a wall was on the side of it, so all he could was squish himself against the wall. Envy chuckled at this lame attempt at avoiding him.

"Chill, Chibi, I'm not here to hurt you. Pinkie swear!" Envy tried to convince the mentally insane alchemist. Maybe Envy shouldn't have kept attacking him for all those years and for the past month now…….

Ed stopped trying to get away from Envy and relaxed. He was very dazed and stupid in this sick state. But he still managed to give a small shout, or croak, of "Don't call me shout!" at Envy. Envy chuckled again. He moved towards Ed's bed, getting closer and closer until Envy could place a hand on Ed's forehead. As soon as placed it on there, he quickly, almost at once, took it away again. The Chibi was burning up. Envy made a "tsk, tsk" noise, like a mother sometimes does, and walked into the bathroom. In there he found a cloth, and wet it under the tap, and bought it back out with him.

Ed was watching his every move from where he lied in bed. The same thought running through his mind _Why the fuck was he here?_' Even when Envy placed a hand on his forehead, only for a second, Ed could feel himself getting hotter. These new emotions had been happening lately, for the past month now, especially when Envy decided to come and beat him up. Every time Envy would punch or kick him, he could feel himself heat up at the touch. He even couldn't help the thoughts of what it would feel like, if Envy was really touching him, loving him, not punching or kicking him.

Speaking of the devil himself, Envy had come back from the bathroom, wet cloth in hand. He again made his way over to Ed. He placed the damp cloth on Ed's head, and then quickly went to find a chair, and pull it up beside Ed's bed.

In truth, Envy has been also experiencing these new emotions and thoughts as well. He would be lying on his on his bed, in Dante's house, and Ed would suddenly cross his mind at the most random of times. He could have been thinking about kittens, and the thought line would go something like this:

_Hmm… I wonder how loud a kitten would scream, or meow, if you pull off all_ _its_ _fur? Or if you_ _gorge_ _its_ _eyes out? Hmm, I wonder if Ed likes_ kittens….'

This would happen every time he thought. It was frustrating Envy, who has never experienced something like before in all his life, to no end. So he took his angry to the source, Ed, and beat the shit out of him. But this didn't help at all. His thoughts still kept returning to the topic of Ed. So Envy would go back out, and beat Ed up again. He has been doing this for the past month now.

Do you know what the definition of Insanity is? Well, it's doing the same thing over and over again and expecting new results.

He only stopped beating Ed up, because he learnt that Ed was sick. So Envy had been binding his time, until he could see Ed himself, without scaring the younger brother. So now that Envy finally had Ed alone, he didn't know what to do. If he did, he had forgotten it. Damnit, he knew he should have written it down some where!

Which leads us back to the present time now. Envy just sat there, watching Ed. Soon this became really awkward and uncomfortable for both of them. So Ed decided to start a small conversation.

"So, um, Envy, why are you here again?" croaked out Ed. Envy took a moment or two to make some sense out of the question, since it was hard to hear it because of Ed's cold. Envy finally made sense of it, and then it clicked.

"Oh yeah, I forgot! I bought some medicine over for you!"

Hearing this, Ed turned away from Envy and he mouth clamped shut. Envy smiled at this, holding up a small bottle of blue looking medicine and a small spoon, which he pulled out from no where. But he must have a pocket or something on his skort. Envy thought for a couple of minutes, and then thought up a witty plan!

"Come on, Chibi, your acting like a five year old! And you're as small as one as well!"

As soon as that last comment was out of Envy's mouth, Ed was sitting up, glaring at Envy.

"Don't you eve-"

But Ed couldn't finish that sentence, since there was a small spoon full of the blue medicine in his mouth. Ed. Realizing this a couple moments to late, quickly spat the spoon and the medicine out of his mouth and started to gag. He glared hatefully at Envy, and sunk back down under the covers of the bed. Envy sighed and went to get the spoon.

"Hey Chibi, you do know that you need two spoons of medicine?"

Ed shook his head. Bad mistake. He stopped quickly and clutched his head, already feeling a headache coming his way.

Envy, after getting the spoon and sitting back down, during all that was thinking up another plan of how to get Ed to drink his medicine.

_Hmm, he must really badly hate the taste…_.._well duh Envy! So, all I need is something he likes!_ _Hmm…_._or_ _maybe I could jus_t…._yes……… yes! That may just about work!_'

Envy then grinned and laughed like the crazy person he really is. He then stopped, and noticed that he was scaring Ed, who was again trying to back away from Envy.

Envy then poured another spoon full of medicine, Ed noticing this, and turned away at once. Envy smirked at this. He then slowly crawled on the bed, towards Ed. Ed felt the extra weight on the bed and turned around to ask Envy what was making the bed so heavy. Bad mistake number two. As soon as he opened his mouth, turning around, he felt the medicine and spoon quickly sneak in. The horrible, awful beyond words, taste was there, but only for a couple of seconds. It was then replaced with something much sweeter, and a hell lot nicer.

It took another moment or two to figure out that Envy was kissing him.

When Ed realized this, he gave a yelp, which caused his and Envy's tongues, which Envy snuck into Ed's mouth, to touch. This sent sensations through Ed, none like he had ever felt before. Envy also felt it too. Ed also felt how much his body liked it, as it responded to Envy's touch. He pressed himself hard against Envy, as he shyly licked Envy's tongue with his own. Envy gasp and moaned into Ed's mouth, his moan sent shivers down Ed's back, as he began to play around with Ed's tongue. But with that, it was way too much for Ed to handle right now, being in his sick state, and Ed's brain could only come to one conclusion.

Mental shutdown.

Envy felt Ed do limp in his arms as Ea fainted, and he thought _Yess! Plan a success!_' Envy slowly lied Ed back down in the bed, got off it, tucked him in, placed the wet cloth back on Ed's forehead, and said a final goodbye before he left.

"Cya when you get better, Ed!"

And he jumped back out the window, back on the tree limb, and down the tree. He landed on the ground, placed his hands on his hips, and walked away humming some song.

When Al got back, He found Ed sleeping peacefully. But he could have sworn that he left that window shut, and that chair was not next to Ed's bed.

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**Well, I enjoyed writing it….**

**I hope you thought it was good!**

**Good? Bad? So crap that it didn't even make much sense? Review and tell me! Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**

**Til next time, bye!**


	2. Crying Out, This Isn't How I Go

**Crying Out,** **This Isn't How I Go**

**Ha! I stole the title from a Yellow card song…..**

**Yes, another One-shot!**

**Warnings: boyxboy goodness, OOC – ness, Suicidal Ed and maybe some swearing. Rated 'T' because it's cool like that. It's also a bit sad, and depressing, but it should get happy again near the end.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! But you people should already know that, right?**

**Enjoy!**

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Ed spent most of the day wondering around the dirt roads on the out-skirts of Resembol. Him and his brother, Al, were visiting Winry on their week off. Al was still at Winry's helping her with all this and that, Ed really didn't know.

Everything was going good after Ed got Al he's body back. Everyone was happy. Both bodies were full restored. But still, Ed felt there was something missing.

Al and Winry have developed a…interesting relationship, which is another reason why Ed left the house early in the morning. He really didn't want to think what else they could be doing now

Ed shook the thoughts out of his head, just as he felt a drop of water land on his cheek. He brought his hand up and touched the spot. He then looked at the sky and it started to rain harder. It soon started to pour down and the wind picked up. Ed cried out it surprise at how fast the storm came. He was absolutely soaked within seconds, and he ran towards the nearest building, which just happened to be an abandoned church.

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"Damnit Winry, why hasn't he come back yet!" said a very pissed off and annoyed Al. He's brother had been missing for the whole day.

"I don't know Al, but Ed's can take care of himself" replied Winry as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Yeah, I guess" said a doubtful Al, as he stared out the window, watching the heavy rain fall. _'Oh Ed, you and your stubborn ass better be back here soon! Please be ok'_ he thought.

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The huge oak doors creaked as Ed hurried to open them. The church was cold, broken, and made of some sort of stone. The roof had a lot of holes in it, letting the rain and wind in, and it was freezing. But anything is better than nothing and Ed walked into the building, wrapping his arms around himself fin a hug, trying to keep warm. 'Well, this is better than nothing' Thought Ed as he made this way up to the alter. He stopped in front of the old alter as the wind howl in and outside of the old church. The alter was partly wet from the hole in the ceiling above it. Then Ed turned back around, looking for a place to sit down in one of the rows of old, grimy benches.

He walked back down from the front, and found a mostly dry bench to sit on. He sat down and tried to relax as much as he cold when he was freezing his ass off. He tried not to think about how lonely he was here, when Al had Winry to keep him company. He sighed and closed his eyes, just as he heard a loud voice, yell from above "OO'CHIBIIIIII-SAAAAAN"

Ed jumped a foot in the air. He quickly looked up at the broken ceiling, seeing nothing. He looked back down, heard something move behind him, and turned around to see Envy there, his face inches away from his own.

"AHH! Don't do that you dumb palm tree! Palm tree…..Envy……AHH! Go away you crazy homunculus! I don't have the stone anymore! I already used it!" yelled Ed to the homunculi's face loudly.

"Ouch, Chibi, don't yell so loud, I'm right in front of you! And I don't care for the stone anymore. It was that entire bitch Dante's Idea. I don't want to become human, I have decided to live forever!" replied Envy, with a cute smile on this face. When he said the last bit, he went into a pose, kinda like Hilter or some one. But, Hilter wasn't alive then.

"Wow" replied Ed sarcasitly, "how _every_ special of you"

Envy glared at Ed as he made that comment. Ed ignored the glare and lied down on the dry bench. Envy also found a dry bench and lied one on it too. Ed closed his eyes again and muttered

"No one really wants to live forever"

Envy pretended that he didn't just hear what Ed said. So he went back to looking up at the broken ceiling.

Both boys listened to the rain pouring down buckets, and buckets of water. Soon the silence was getting to Envy

"Hey Edo?" asked Envy.

"Hmm…what do you want now?" replied a now angry Ed.

"Why are you all so depressed and stuff? You haven't even tried to kill me yet! What's wrong? Tell Envy all about it!" Envy then sat up and looked at Ed. Ed remained where he was with his eyes still shut.

"Shouldn't you be happy that your brother is back to normal?"

"I know…I am, I swear…but….what if I didn't fix his body? He would still be with me. He wouldn't be chasing Winry. We would still be together." Ed's eyes went wide as he realized what he was saying. "Now I have nothing….."

"Damnit, Damnit, Damnit, I'm not suppose to say things like that! I'm not allowed to fell like this! I….this….THIS ISN'T HOW I'M SUPPOSED TO THINK! I'm not meant to! I should be really happy for me brother!" yelled Ed at the top of his lungs, tears following freely down his face. "….it…..it isn't how I go……"

"Isn't how I go?" Asked Envy to Ed, while watching Ed break down.

"Yes. This isn't how I go. I should be happy for Al. But, if he has Winry who will I have? They date, get married, grow old together, while I'll be rejected, and alone for all my life." Ed's question left Envy thinking for a couple of minutes, while he was itching to tell Ed the reason why he was really here.

They both sat in silence. It was an awkward silence, yet it was somehow peaceful to Ed. He tried to calm down, and asked Envy a question he'd been thinking about since Envy had said it.

"Do you really want to live forever?" Asked Ed quietly to Envy

"No" Answered Envy straight away.

Ed then let it become silent again. He closed his eyes again, with tears still running down his face. He then heard something move, and felt a cold hand touch his cheek, wiping the tears away. Ed's eyes shot open at once, just in time to see Envy face, before Envy placed his own lips against Ed's and kissed him.

It was a sweet, and gentle kiss, something Ed didn't really except coming from Envy. Still, the kiss sent Ed's mind into oblivion, no where to be found. Envy soon pulled away when he didn't feel Ed kiss him back. He looked into Ed's eyes with sad ones of his own and said

"You have me. And I promise you I will never leave you."

Then he went back to kissing Ed, a little bit harder, and a lot more passion. He felt surprised when he felt Ed kissing him back, welcoming Envy into his mouth. Ed knew it was a cheesy promise, one that he properly couldn't keep, but Ed still kissed Envy, with all he has. He was happy for the new hope that Envy gave him, happy to now live for a reason. The new couple kissed in the old church, until it stopped raining. When the rain stopped, it was dark. Envy said goodbye to Ed, kissed him again, tongue and all, and said he'll be back tonight, keep the window unlocked! Ed then walked back in the dark, a lot happier than before. Ed lifted this hand up to he's lips, and let out a cry of utter and complete happiness. He then sprinted all the way back to Winry's house.

THE END

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**Ah, I love a happy ending! It's so cheesy it just has to be good, right? Right?**

**--: is completely silent :--**

**Damn, well anyway, Good? Bad? Horrible beyond compare? Please Review and tell me!**


	3. And I Felt Like Chicken Tonight, Damnit!

**And I Felt Like Chicken Tonight, Damnit!**

**Ah, yes, another One-shot in the early hours of mid morning.**

**This is another crack fic. It's mainly about what happens when Gluttony finds Ed and Envy in the kitchen. I wrote it for my friend, Heather, whose favourite character off FMA is Gluttony. **

**Warning: Boyxboy goodness and a very pissed off Envy. Rated 'T' because I said so.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! Though it would be nice…..**

**It's a bit on the short side, but it's meant to be like that!**

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Gluttony wondered around the house, trying to find something to eat. Since Lust was away, most of the other sins avoided him. They were all scared that they were going to get eaten my Gluttony, since Lust wasn't there to control him.

So Gluttony was bored. And hungry. But he was always hungry so it didn't really matter.

Gluttony made his way slowly towards the kitchens, but on the way, he ran into a bit of difficulty.

He saw Greed.

Greed jumped back, made a sign of cross with his index fingers, and said "Stay back!" Gluttony looked at Greed curiously, with one of his fingers in his mouth. He took a couple of steps forward, and that sent Greed running down the corridor and out of sight. Gluttony didn't know what the problem was, he wasn't a vampire.

If he was any smarter, he would have figured out the real reason why Greed ran away.

After a couple more minutes he met Sloth coming back out from the kitchen. She took one look at Gluttony, took a small step away from him, and said "Gluttony, you may not want to go in there right now…" But Gluttony was very hungry, so he ignored Sloth's warning and went in there anyway.

That was the biggest mistake of his poor, pathetic, only-eating, fat life.

What he saw was Ed and Envy. Envy, leaning up on Ed, his hand half-way up Ed's shirt, and the other hand playing around with Ed's blonde hair. Envy's mouth was still half way on Ed's, a look of angry in his eyes at who ever interrupted them. Ed didn't look to innocent either. His eyes were wide and they had a look of pissed off in them. His tongue was still in Envy's mouth, playing around with Envy's tongue still, and both his hands gripping Envy's shirt. Envy growled, and took his mouth away from Ed's, a small line of saliva dripped from Envy's mouth onto Ed's.

"What the hell do you want, you fat ass! Can't you see I'm busy here?" yelled a very pissed off Envy at poor, Gluttony. He already was interrupted by Sloth, Envy didn't need this gorilla barging again, interrupting his little time with Ed. Gluttony took a step away from Envy and muttered out a small "Hungry…" that was so quite, Envy and Ed could barley hear it.

Envy growled again, this time more loudly. "Go AWAY Gluttony, get your food later!" and Gluttony fled from the kitchen, scared for life. He ran all the way back to his room, trying to get those mental images out of his head. He swayed around the room for a bit, and then ate the whole bed. He then sat on the floor, and went to sleep.

Maybe he'll eat something later……

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**XD sorry if you thought it was bad.**

**Good? Bad? How did Ed get in the kitchen in the first place? Please review and tell me! Sorry for sounding rude. Flames are accepted, grammar and spelled checked, and sent back to whoever sent them.**

**Ja!**


	4. Well, This Day

**Well, This Day was a Complete Waste of Makeup**

**Ah yes, another one-shot for you lovely people! Just so you know, the title has nothing to do with the actual story.**

**This lovely piece of writing** **goes out to my dear, dear friend** **Karina.**

**Grrr...last day before school starts for me. Damn, i wish the holidays would never end! I DO NOT wanna go back to school.**

**Warning: boyxboy goodness, OOC-ness, and it is _very_ short.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! Though I did just read the 4th volume of the manga. It kept hinting an EdxWinry relationship. Damn I hated that…..but it had Envy in it so it was alright. **

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It was a bright and sunny morning.

Envy hated it.

The birds were awake and signing.

Oh how Envy wanted to shoot them.

Oh yes, this was going to be a boring day. All the other sins were out somewhere, and Envy didn't give a damn about his mother/master, Dante. She could be dying in her room for all he cared. Heck, he wished for it every night. And nobody knew where the bastard of a dad was.

So, after a couple of hours of lying on his bed, throwing darts of a picture of Greed taped to the ceiling, Envy finally decided to go out somewhere. Where he would go, he just didn't know. But it would have something to do with a blond shrimp. Envy grinned. Oh how fun this will be. He jumped out of his window, 5 stories up, did a couple of mid-air flips, and landed safely and cat-like on the ground. Then he started to walk and find the little Blonde Chibi, which he had his heart, if he had one, set on annoying today.

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Edward sighed. He sat alone, in the park. Colonel shit just gave him another useless mission. But luckily, the mission was set later on in the day. So Ed had some time to kill. With Al, his giant brother-stuck-in-a-suit-of-armour, gone to visit Winry and her grandmother in Resembol, Ed had no one to talk too, and nothing to do.

Ed yawned. He had spent another sleepless night, studying on how to get this brother back to normal. As he was alone in the park, he decided to just lie down on the seat, and rest his eyes for a bit. Soon enough, he was fast asleep.

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Envy's walking lead him to some park in Central. Luckily that no one was around, since Envy was still prancing around in his Sports bra and mini short. People wouldn't know if too blush at his outfit, or shake their heads in disgust. As Envy walked down the path, lending into the centre of the park, he saw someone lying, asleep, on a park bench. A blonde, small, figure. Envy's face once twisted into an evil grin as he saw who it was

_Oh, Chibi-san..._

Envy walked slowly over to where Ed was lying asleep. He looked right up to his face, and then did something so evil, so twisted…

He stole Ed's hair tie.

Dun dun dun!

Ed's golden hair fell down and around his shoulders. Envy couldn't help but note how hot Ed looked with his hair down. Envy decided to take it too the next level. Working slowly, so not to wake Ed, he turned Ed over so he was lying on his back. Then Envy slowly and carefully climbed on top of Ed. He placed one of his legs beside Ed's right and his left leg into between both of Ed's. He placed his hands above Ed's head and quietly whispered into his ear.

Oh was Ed going to get a surprised when he woke up

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Ed slowly broke away from his dream of Sporks and Hair, and was awoken by a voice near his ear saying "oooooo, Chibiiii saaaaan..." over and over again. Ed tried to swat the voice away, but still it kept saying "oooooo, Chibiiii saaaaan..." over and over again. Till Ed muttered

"Why, damnit, I was asleep"

He then heard a small laugh, and heard a voice saying, loudly, "My, my, what a small shrimp we have here, ne?"

At that Ed's eye shot awake, lifted his head and stared straight into purple eyes.

"Ah!" gasped Ed, as he tried to get away, but Envy knew that was going to happen, so he had Ed completely pinned.

"What do you want Envy!" yelled Ed, as Envy took the chance to run one of his cold fingers up and down the side of Ed's face. Ed shivered at the coldness of it all and maybe something else.

"Nothing much, just bored" was the reply he got from the Palm tree-like person.

"Well, how does that involve me?" asked Ed, growing worried at what the sin was planning.

"…….good point" Said Envy, as he stopped tracing patterns with his finger on Ed's face, and lowered his face so that his lips caught Ed's. The sin was kissing Ed, in the park, on a park bench.

Now Ed was in total shock. But soon after, he began to enjoy the kiss, and the feeling he got from it, and started to kiss Envy back. It was Envy's turn to be shocked, as he felt Ed arch and push his own body against Envy's, kissing him deeper and more desperate. Envy smiled into the kiss, enjoying everything about it.

Ed, during all this kissing, was having a mental fight with his brain and body.

"_Oh no, hurry up and push him off you!_" the sensible part of his brain yelled at the rest of this body.

"_Oh come on, you know you're enjoying this!"_ the body yelled back, as it responded to Envy's touch.

"_That's not the point! He's our fucking enemy for crying out! And this has to count as rape_"

"_So? He hasn't tried to kill us yet! It's not rape! Just shut up, relax and enjoy the kiss_" and with that, the brain remain silent as Ed moaned into Envy's mouth.

Soon they broke apart for air.

Envy chuckled. "Enjoy that, O'Chibi-san?"

Ed growled and hit Envy hard over the head. He laughed at Envy's cry of pain and surprise, and laughed even louder at the glare Envy was sending his way.

Ed raised his head up to Envy's, and brought a totally surprised Envy into another kiss.

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**Omg, hope you enjoyed it!**

**--: cries :-- it's so short! It's barely past 1000 words! But I do just adore the last line!**

**Good? Bad? Should I stop writing really short stories? Please Review and tell me! Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**

**Bye bye!**


	5. Everybody Loves your Life But you

**Everybody Loves your Life But you**

**Yay! Omg, another one-shot!**

**Yes, this is a sad attempt at Angst. **

**This may start off depressing but it DOES have a happy ending. I wrote this about 2 weeks ago, only now deciding to post it. Yay for us all.**

**Warning: Boyxboy goodness, OOC-ness to the HIGHEST LEVEL --: gaspshockchoke :--, angst and happy predictable ending. And it's also short. Rated 'T' for the lovely making out at the end.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! --: cries :--**

**Enjoy!**

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Ed looked up too the sky as he rain. Well, more like poured down. He didn't even know why he was standing in the rain. He knew he would get sick if he stayed any longer out side, but for once, he didn't care.

He had left Al a long way back, since he had ran out of the apartment, and Al trying to find him. He knew his brother was worried sick about him, but he didn't care.

He lent his head against the wall he was leaning on. His soaked hair fell around his face. His clothes were soaked, and he was wet to the bone. But, he didn't care.

Warm, wet tears ran down his face, as he silently cried to the sky. Oh how he wished he could take it all back. Especially trying to bring his mother back to life. Ed bowed his head, and placed them in his hands. Oh how could he have been so stupid! He ignored all the rules of alchemy, and caused the death of his brother. The only good thing was that he was able to attach Al's soul to a suit of armor.

Ed laughed bitterly. Thinking that, that was a good thing. God, his brother was in a fucking suit of armour! He couldn't even feel anything or eat anything! He couldn't live a normal life! Sometimes, on days like today, he thought that it would have been a more of a big brother thing to do by not chain his brother to the armor. Then Al would have been able to die. Hell, who really wants to live forever?

Ed shook his head, trying to shake those thoughts out of his head. He was happy that his brother was still with him…..wasn't he?

"Yes" muttered Ed, "yes I am, YES I AM" yelled Ed, into the sky again.

Ed tried to wipe those tears away, but they still kept coming. They wouldn't stop. Ed fell to the ground and shivered. It was icy cold, and Ed was freezing. But still he wouldn't get out of the rain. He would sit there until it stopped raining.

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Envy was walking in the rain. Oh how he loved the rain. It was the sadness of it all. The smell. The colour! Oh how he adored it all. He continued to walk down the path, his head looking up to the sky, and almost tripped over a depressed Chibi.

After recovering from the almost trip, he blinked a couple of times just to make sure it was his- I mean, the Chibi he knew and lov- loathed. He loathed the Chibi.

Envy saw that it WAS the Chibi, not some weird guy who Envy thought to be the Chibi and said something to him which lead to an awkward moment, in which Envy would just walk away from anyway, who had brought his knees up to his chest and resting his head in them. Envy stared at Ed for a couple more moments and simply said

"Hey, why are you in the rain, O'Chibi-san?"

Ed's head slowly lifted up, and Envy saw the blood-red, but still golden, eyes that Ed owned. Ed smiled sadly

"Come to kill me, Envy?"

Envy continued to stare at Ed. _'Did he want me to kill him? Doesn't he want to live so he can save his brother?_' thought Envy, as he started at the messed up Ed some more.

Ed grinned a broken smile and looked into Envy's purple eyes and stated "Why is everything so messed up?"

Envy took a while to answer that one, still trying to get over how pathetic Ed looked.

"Oh come on, Edo, everything happens for a reason." said Envy sadly. He walked over to where Ed was, and sat himself down next to him. Ed turned to stare at Envy, then turned his head once more back up to the sky and closed his eyes and remained silent, his breathing turned so and steady as his head dropped onto Envy's shoulder.

Envy turned to look at Ed, surprised to see that Ed had fallen asleep. Envy slowly took Ed into his arms, careful not to wake him, and they both lye together, waited for it to stop raining.

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Ed was awoken from his dreamless sleep, by a voice, calling him loudly.

"Hey Edo……EEEEDDDDOOOO! WAKE UPPPPPP!"

Ed grunted, not waiting to be awoken and taken away from his warmth he was feeling, but managed to mutter an "Hmm" in response.

"It's stopped raining." Ed raised his head to the sky, and saw that is had. Envy let go of Ed, stood up and turned to leave, when Ed called out

"Stop, wait."

Envy turned around in surprise, and then almost fell over again and Ed hugged him, tightly. Envy was stunned for a moment, before he returned the hug. He then, lifted Ed's head up too his, and planted a sweet, kiss on Ed's lips.

Ed's eyes widened in surprise. Oh how his enemy could be kissing him? Why would his enemy be kissing him? But then, a lot of weird stuff happens after it rains, so he decided to go with the flow. He slowly closed his eyes, and kissed back

Envy, who was utterly thrilled by Ed kissing him back, deciding he'd had enough of this light kiss and tried to make the kiss deeper. Ed yelped in surprise as he felt Envy's tongue run slowly back and fourth against his bottom lip, but couldn't help but moan and open his mouth.

Envy was surprised when Ed opened his mouth, and hungrily forced his tongue against Ed's. He felt Ed moan and shiver again. He pushed roughly against Ed, driving him back into the wall he was leaning against before, crushing their bodies together. The warmth the two bodies were feeling was almost overwhelming. But they both welcomed it, since they just had been sitting in the rain for god knows how long. Envy soon left Ed's mouth, and planted light kisses on his neck. He soon worked his way up to Ed's ear, sucking and biting on the ear lobe. Ed's body responded to this, arching his body towards Envy, moaned again, and clutching Envy tighter as he struggled to breathe evenly. Ed's moaning was like music to Envy's ears. Envy moved his mouth back to Ed's, kissing him roughly again. But soon after those blissful moments, both pulled back, their need to breathe stronger.

"What was that for?" asked a curious Ed.

"So you'll always know I'll be here." Said Envy, smiling for the first time. A real smile. Which quickly turned into an evil smirk. Ed also smiled too. Which turned into a big grin.

"Well, I better go find my brother! Kill ya next time!" and with that, Ed waved a madly good bye and ran off around the corner. Envy just shook his head, turned around, and walked away in the opposite direction from the crazy, moody Chibi. Who else could start off all depressed, then was skipping away, happy beyond belief?

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**There. I hope you all enjoyed it!**

**Good? Bad? Why the hell did Ed and Envy start making out? Please review and tell me. Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**

**Til next time! Bye bye!**


	6. Some Postman YOU Turned Out To Be!

**Some Postman _YOU_ Turned Out To Be!**

**Ah, yes, another short One-shot. But this one actually has a story behind it! Yay for us all!**

**I got this little sweet idea for a one-shot from when I went on a christen camp. The camp was in Waikeri, the place were Mark RicciutoMark Ricciuto Mark Ricciuto(Australian Football player) lived for awhile. Or maybe he was born there, I don't know. As we were leaving the town, a couple minutes from the town, there was this little grave. Now, the grave only had a small bunch of pink flowers on it and it was under the tree. The weird thing was that it was completely alone, near nothing. It was weird, and it made me wonder, who was in that grave and why was it there? So I thought I'll write a one-shot about it.**

**Ha ha ha, me and my not having a life!**

**Warning: OOC-ness to the extreme, boyxboy goodness and swearing. Rated 'T' for the making out bit near the end. If there's any spelling or grammar errors, my bad!**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! But you all should ready know that by now!**

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The blistering hot sun beat down on poor Edo, as he walked slowly through the hard, dry outback. The bright blue sky covered the sky, no clouds present to block out the hard shining sun. He swayed slightly and almost fell over into one of the many scrubs that filled up the dry red-brown ground that the outback was cursed with. Many trees also filled up the space, though wildly spread apart. But they still created shade, and that's all that mattered to Ed at this moment. He had been walking for a couple hours now, trying to find this persons house that he had been assigned to investigate. The house, or shack, was made of tin and placed in the most random-est spot in the whole outback.

Ed swayed again, and this time did run into a tree. He cursed loudly, and pulled himself away from said tree, and that's when he noticed the small grave that lye beneath the front of the tree, in the shade that the tree bore. Ed stared at it a little more, his eyes widening with shock and confusion. He had no idea why the hell was there a grave out here, in the middle of nowhere, at least 2 hours from any towns.

The grave itself was very small. It had a tombstone and surprisingly enough, it had a bunch of bright, fresh, pink flowers on it. Ed's eyes widened in more shock, as the flowers looked very much alive, as if they had been placed there not so long ago. But the question was,

Who had placed the flowers there in the first place and why is a grave out here so far form the town?

_It would have had to been some local_, decided Ed, _and they had to have been stuffed to come out two hours from a town just to do so. I wonder who the person they buried was._

Ed then turned his attention to the tombstone. The tombstone was arched at the top, and was a dull, plain gray colour. The tombstone was also made of some sort of stone. Ed looked at the writing on the tombstone, which said

_Here lives My dearest. Who were a great friend, boyfriend and son. May he rest in peace forever and ever._

This was useless information. It gave no name and no dates for when the said person died. Ed scowled as this, his curiosity wanting to know who this person was, to be buried out so far from the town. He then stepped out from under the tree, and the sun shone brightly again, slowly burning everything. Ed almost collapsed from the heat and quickly turned back and under the tree's shade again. Ed sighed, knowing that this must be the hottest time of the day. He then sat down in the shade, next to the unnamed grave. He looked over at it, then sighed and looked up to the blue sky. His eyes soon become heavy, willing him to sleep. He yawned, trying and failing to fight away sleep.

And soon enough, he fell asleep.

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When he woke, he was lying across the unnamed grave, though not on the pretty pink flowers. He slowly sat up, blinking the sleep away from his eyes. He only then noticed that someone was watching him, standing next to him. This someone just happened to be the wrong person he wanted to see right now. He looked into the face of his enemy, and screamed loudly like a little girl. The scream lasted for a couple of seconds, until Ed finally ran out of breath. The person, however, wasn't very happy at getting yelled at.

"Why the FUCK are you screaming Chibi? My FUCKING ears are going to FUCKING bleed now!" Yelled Envy back at Ed, his arms waving around madly. In other words, he wasn't very happy. Ed blinked at this, then quickly stood up, transformed his auto mail into that little sword thing he uses, and went into a fighting stand. Envy saw this, and took a step back.

"Wow, Chibi, calm down. For once I'm not here to hurt you. I'm just here for the grave" said Envy, lifting his arms up into a surrendering pose. It was just then that Ed saw the bunch of yellow and white flowers that Envy was holding in his hands. Ed was very surprised at this, not knowing that Envy was compassionate enough to visit a grave for heavens sake! He was usually sending people to there grave!

"I don't buy that bullshit Envy!" screamed Ed back at Envy, running at him, sword waving madly. He was just about to attack Envy, when the full weight of the sun hit him. This caused him to stop, and fall to the ground. Envy was quick to react, pinning Ed's body beneath his own. The shade created by Envy's body on his was a bit refreshing, but Ed soon turned angry and growled at Envy. "Why don't you bloody get off me Envy!"

Envy smirked at this, and didn't move an inch.

"Now Chibi, I don't' think I will. Not until you promise no to attack me anymore."

Ed snorted at that, knowing right away that there was no way he was promising Envy anything. He struggled against Envy's body weight, trying to get up. But Envy was heavier than he looked, so all that Ed's struggling achieved was rubbing against Envy's body. Ed soon realizing what he was doing and stopped quickly. Envy smirked again at this.

"Oh no, Chibi, don't stop there. I was quite enjoying that." purred Envy the pervert. Ed blushed bright red, anger clouding his eyes. But he couldn't do anything, so he just settled for glaring at Envy. Envy smirked a this, and lent close to Ed. Now they were only inches a part. Envy blew playfully on Ed's cheek, having fun in his own sadistic sort of way. Ed shuddered at the cold-ness of the mad Homunculi's breath. This greatly made Ed uncomfortable, even though it might have liked it and he told his mind he didn't, and Ed was more than willing to push Envy off of him. _No mind_, Ed thought as Envy still blew on his cheek and had moved to his ear, _I do NOT like what he's doing to me and I would ever much like him to get off!_

Ed waited a bit more, and then suddenly pushed forward. Envy, who wasn't excepting this movement from Ed, gave out a little scream and fell backwards. Ed immediately charged after Envy, who had managed to make his fall into a couple of pretty back flips. Ed took a couple more swings at Envy, which Envy dodged everyone. This continued for a couple of minutes, until Ed tripped. He fell on the hard, dry ground with a bid thud. Envy smirked at this, and waited for Ed to get back up. But after a couple more seconds, and Ed still hadn't risen, Envy soon was getting worried. He had tried to convince Ed that he wasn't here to fight, but Ed was too stubborn to listen. And maybe Envy didn't make it any better by blowing on Ed's cheek. Envy walked over to where Ed lye on the ground and started to poke him. Poke, poke, poke and Ed still hadn't moved. Now, Envy was really worried. Since Ed fell on his face, Envy flipped him over, so Ed lay on his back. Now that he had flipped Ed over, he saw a rock on the ground, right where Ed's head must have landed.

"Oh _shit_!" He exclaimed, smacking his hand hard into his head.

He then dragged the Chibi by his feet, to under the tree with the grave. Envy placed Ed so that Ed was leaning against the tree. Envy then sat down next to Ed, as he waiting for the Chibi to wake up.

Envy stared at the grave, and then remembered that he brought flowers. He took a quick look at Ed, then stood up and walked over to where he dropped the flowers. He dusted them off a bit and walked back over to the unnamed grave. He quietly placed them on said grave and gave a small, dry smile, as depression filled his eyes at the memories the grave held.

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Ed woke a few minutes later. His eyes fluttered open, and the first thing he saw was a small drink bottle, being held he front of his eyes. He greedily snatched the bottle and drink deeply and quickly from it. He look another second or two to realize that someone was also sitting next to Ed. Ed turned his attention to the person sitting next to him, and jumped back, the drink bottle falling out of his hands, out from under the tree. Envy just sat there, smiling at the obvious discomfort Ed was in.

"Don't worry, Chibi, I'm not here to hurt you. The first reason why I'm not here to hurt you is that I could have killed you longer before this all, and the second reason is that I could have murdered you in your sleep."

Ed nodded at this; it was making sense to him, but then stopped because he felt as if his head was coming to explode. Why he agreed with Envy? We just don't know. Why he didn't just run away from Envy? Well, maybe it has something to do with hitting his head on that damn rock. Either way, Ed trusted Envy.

"What…ow, damnit….happened?" Ed managed to get out, rubbing his head as if to ease the pain. Envy chuckled at this, and noticed that Ed had moved back under the tree, and even closer to Envy than he had been before.

"You tired to attack me, but you fell over and landed on a rock."

Ed muttered an "Oh" and went back to sitting in silence, looking at what seemed to be an ever blue sky. They both sat silence for a while, and in that time, Envy started to play with the red dirt on the ground, making patterns in it. Soon Envy gave up on the dirt and turned to look at Ed. He saw that Ed was happily minding his business, and Envy had a sudden erg to destroy it. And ever so quietly, he leaned towards Ed, and whispered something in his ear.

"Hey Ed"

Ed shivered as Envy's cool breath tickled his ear. Ed turned away from the sky and faced Envy, only to find that he was inches away from the face. He stared, stunned, into Envy's deep purple eyes. He unconsciously moved his head away from Envy, as Envy leaned more towards Ed. Ever so slowly; he placed his cold lips against Ed's.

Ed was in mental shock. It's not every day that you get your worse enemy kissing you. Envy, however, didn't seem to mind that he was kissing the bastard son of the main bastard himself. He actually seemed to be enjoying it, as he pressed himself more against Ed, which led Ed to falling back on the ground. Envy ran his tongue against Ed's lips, begging for entrance. Ed moaned to this, as he arched his body up against Envy's, feeling the surprising cold body above him. Why his body was enjoying this, his mind was having other thoughts.

'_Damnit, body! Why do you kept responding to him! He's our fucking blasted enemy for god's sake! Push him away!_' his mind screamed at him. But he and his body took no notice of this; as he wrapped his arms around Envy's neck bring him closer to himself, as he kissed Envy back roughly.

Envy was surprised at being kissed back from Ed, but he happily welcomed it. He felt Ed open mouth and thrust his tongue against Envy's. Another moan erupted from the bottom of Ed's throat as his and Envy's tongues danced together in the dance for dominance. He ran his cold, manly hands up and inside Ed's shirt, as Ed again moaned loudly as he felt the hands touch his skin. Ed in turn ran his hands up and down Envy's back, pushing himself against Envy's smooth stomach. It was Envy's turn to moan, as he felt Ed moving against him below. But soon Ed had to breathe, so he pulled himself away from Envy's sweet mouth. He still lay underneath Envy, hands tangled in Envy's long hair, panting loudly and breathless.

"W-Why En-nvy?" Ed panted out, looking up into Envy's purple eyes. Envy just shrugged, not knowing the real answer himself. Ed giggled at this, lifted his head up and took Envy's lips back into his. Of course, it turned into a deeper kiss within seconds, two bodies trying so hard to get closer to each other. They both had thrown caution to the wind, for a couple minutes or utter and complete bliss. Ed moaned loudly again, as he felt Envy run his over-cold hands up and down his waist line. But after that, Envy pulled away again. Envy looked down at Ed, seeing the confusion in his eyes.

"Sorry, Edo, but I've got somewhere to be" Envy stated, pushing himself off Ed and standing up. Ed followed Envy, but only pushing himself up so he was now sitting.

"Will you be back?" Ed asked, pouting. Envy chuckled at this cute little pout. Damn, was it sexy!

"Of course, I'll come find you. Oh, and by the way, that grave there is my grave" and with that, Envy turned away from Ed. He walked in the direction of south, hands on his hips. He then transformed into an outback creature, which Ed had no idea what it was, and bounded onwards. Ed shakily stood, still processing what just happened. When he did recall all the events, he blushed a deep red. He groaned out loud, this mind thinking along the lines of this.

_'OMG, I can't believe that I just got it on with my worst enemy. Omg, what will Al say! No, Ed, no remain calm! Just don't tell them anything! Yes, that will work! But it's Envy! It's too hot and sexy for his damn good! What happens if he comes and tries to seduce me again! Well, that would be pretty awesome…but what if it's in front of Al? Damnit! This is too much for me; I'll just complete this rubbish mission and get on my way. If Envy's comes again, and god knows that I want him too, we'll just cross that bridge when we get there!_'

Ed nodded, making up his mind, and started to walk away from the unnamed grave. He suddenly stopped. 'Wait _a minute that was Envy's grave!_' he thought, as he slowly made his way back over to said grave. He stared at it for a bit longer, and it would have made a great photo shot of Ed, if only there was wind blowing or something, and made up his mind. He found a lot of stones and rocks, and transmuted them into the lovely bunch of flowers you had ever seen. There were roses and daffodils. And some new kind of flower, that was multi-coloured. The colours where green and gold. He placed them carefully on the grave, and then got another idea. He walked up to the tree behind the grave, clapped his hands and placed them on said tree. The tree branches and limbs then grew longer and they reached past the grave. They then curved and planted themselves into the ground. Ed took a step back to admirer his handy work.

The grave now had a tree enclosure that looked like a giant bubble. It looked extremely pretty, since the tree behind the grave was a gum tree in full blossom. The grave was in prefect shade, and anyone who walked near the tree would see it right away.

Finally, Ed walked away from the grave, but not without writing something on the old gum tree. He walked away whistling, hands in his pockets, still swaying slightly, since the sun's heat still almost roasted him alive.

_Shrimp + Palm tree forever_ was left written on the tree, thought Ed would never admit that he had called himself a shrimp.

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**Well, I overly enjoyed writing that. Hope you enjoyed reading it!**

**Good? Bad? Why can I be stuffed writing about a grave? Please review and tell me! Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**

**Til next time, bye!**


	7. The Panda Likes to Eat the Lion

**The Panda Likes to Eat the Lion**

**Title has nothing to do with this one-shot.**

**AH, omg, guess what this is!**

**Yes, this is a very short One-shot, and it's also…**

…

**My first ROY X ED!**

**Ah yes, I finally wrote one! I got the idea for this after I saw a picture of Roy and Ed kissing behind a huge newspaper. Feeling inspired, I wrote this little thing. I do hope it'll be good, since this is my first Roy x Ed.**

**Warnings: Boyxboy goodness, swearing, OOC-ness (just a tad) and Roy being a bitch. Rated 'T' because I always rate them 'T'. Please excuse any spelling and/or grammar mistakes you may find in this piece of writing.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! --: cries :-- **

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Ed walked into the headquarters late. He grumbled and mumbled angrily, as he didn't get very much sleep last night, if any at all. He stayed up late again researching the philosophers stone, trying to find a way around the sacrificing live humans bit.

As he walked through the corridors, he noticed that people where staring at him. That didn't worry him though, since he was used to this. It must have something to do with his golden hair and matching eyes, even if he did have huge bags under them. He turned a corner and walked into opening office of Roy's. There he was Hawkeye and Havoc. He walked right in there as Hawkeye lifted her head.

"Ah, Ed, the Colonel-"

"-would like to see me now, yeah I know. I'm coming" Ed replied before Hawkeye had even finished the question. Hawkeye blinked twice, nodded, and went back to work. Havoc was smiling at both Ed and Hawkeye. But, Ed saw as he walked towards Roy's office, that Havoc was mostly staring at Hawkeye. Ed shock his head at this, thinking about how Havoc's love life was just not happen, and entered Roy's office without knocking.

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BAMN! Was the noise that Roy heard. He jumped slightly, as he lifted his head from the giant newspaper he was reading at his desk, while ignoring the paperwork he had to finish. He smirked, seeing that it was Ed, and placed the news paper down.

"Ah, Fullmetal, I see you found my office ok. Hopefully no one stepped on you on your way here…"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP THAT'S HE'S SO SHORT, WHEN HE WALKS HE GETS STEPPED ON!"

Roy sighed, amused. "Ah, I think your right. Now, I need to go raise the dead, die my hair blonde and scream at people who call me short…opps, there I go thinking I was you for a second."

Ed just glared at Roy, as he sat down on the uncomfortable couch. Roy smirked, knowing that he had won. They sat in awkward silence for a bit, before it was broken by Ed.

"Colonel Shit, shouldn't you be doing your paper work?" Ed said with a smirk on his face. Roy glared at him.

"That'll have to wait; I have to show you something important!"

Ed sighed, but he still didn't move from where he sat on the couch. Roy let a little smile appear on his face for just a second, before he changed his expression back to serious. A couple more minutes passed in silence, as Roy continued to just stare at Ed. This stared to make Ed more uncomfortable.

"So, bastard, why did you call me here again?"

Roy blinked a couple of times, and then remembered he had called Ed here for a reason. He opened the newspaper again and called Ed over to him.

"Come here, E- err, Fullmetal, I have something to show you."

Ed narrowed his eyes as he slowly walked over to Roy. Roy, however, rolled his eyes at this.

"Fullmetal, I won't bite……at least not now anyway"

"What was that!"

"Nothing, nothing. Just hurry your ass over here."

Ed sighed, watching as Roy flick through the pages of the newspaper. Ed was standing right behind Roy before he spoke again.

"What is it, Bastard?"

Roy smirked again, and looked up at Ed, gluing there eyes together.

"Here it is!" he said as he pointed to some random spot on the left side of the newspaper (Ed was standing on his right) without even looking at it, his eyes still glued to Ed's, "Read it."

Ed blinked at Roy in confusion before answering before turning his glaze to the newspaper.

"Um, Colonel, it's an advertisement for care bears..."

Roy blinked again, and tore his eyes away from Ed and looked at where he did point. Ah, and what do you know, it WAS an advertisement for care bears.

"Can't you see it?" asked Roy, regaining control over this conversation. Ed looked at Roy as if he was retarded.

"Bastard, there's nothing there to see"

"Oh, but there is, maybe you should look closer, you may be too small to see it."

Ed glared at Roy, who was smirking, and leaned even more forward, but Roy's arm was blocking his way. Not wanting to sink so low as to ask Roy to move his arm, he just ducked under it. This surprised Roy, but he didn't say anything about it, he just kept smirking. He even chuckle a little as he heard Ed cursing his name.

"See it?"

"No, you dumb Colonel, there's nothing there!" said Ed as he leaned even more closely towards the huge newspaper.

"Why can't you see it, its right there"

Ed grumbled in response to Roy, he as was now an inch away from the newspaper. He growled, seeing nothing but care bears, and turned his head around to complain to the Colonel.

"Shit head, there's nothing-" But Ed was cut off by a pair of stronger lips on his. It took a moment or two to realize that Roy was kissing him. Sweetly and soft. At his office. Hidden perfectly behind the giant newspaper.

And Ed decided that it wasn't that bad.

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**XD well, I enjoyed it.**

**I've even started to write another one. It's going to be a LOT smexier and have more Boyxboy goodness in it.**

**Good? Bad? Should I just stick to writing Edvy? Please review and tell me! Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**

**Bye bye!**


	8. Mission: possible

**Mission: possible**

**Lame title, yeah I know.**

**Yay! My second Roy x Ed! Whooo!**

**Warnings: Boyxboy goodness, swearing and more boyxboy goodness. Rated 'T' because…because it's second to god.**

**Ahhh! It's so short, IT BURNS! Sorry about that, I will try and write longer ones in future! I promise!**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! I never will….. --: emo tear :--**

**I just would like to thank, StaticElectricity for being the first review to review this fic! THANKS SO MUCH! So, I decided to dedicate this chapter to them! **

**This chapter is dedicated to StaticElectricity. You are awesome.**

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Ed grumbled loudly as he slammed the door that lead to Roy's office behind him. _'Damn that Colonel!_' thought Ed as he walked away angrily, _'Again he mocks me! Why damnit! If only I can humiliate him. But he's always in control! I need to find something that will make him lose it. I need…….wait a minute……yes, yes! That'll work!_' And thus the evil plan was made up on how to get Roy back. Ed laughed evil and loudly, which caused some unwanted glances at Ed, as he turned around and marched back to Roy's office.

Mission: Seduce Roy

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Ed found him in his office, spinning around on his chair, ignoring the paper work in front of him. He snuck into the office, which was so unlike him, snickering as he watched Roy. But Roy quickly stopped spinning, as he heard the snickering. He saw that it was Ed, blushed and stuttered out a sentence.

"Um..Fullmetal, w-what brings you here" said Roy, trying to save at least some of his pride. Ed laughed in his head. It was just too funny not to.

"Nothing, just thought I'm pop in to say hello" Ed replied, not making eye contact with Roy. Roy didn't believe a word of this bullshit. He raised one eyebrow as Ed slowly started to come towards him. He stood up and made his way to in front of this desk. He stood at least a centre meter away from it as Ed stopped in front of Roy, His head facing the ground.

"Fullmetal…Wha-"

But Roy never got to finish that question, as Ed quickly grabbed Roy's wrist, and pressed himself hard against Roy. This caught Roy by surprise, and he stumbled back into the desk. Ed then, slowly, moved and arched himself upwards towards Roy's mouth, making sure that he was still pressed against Roy. He thanked the lord that he always wore tight, leather pants.

_'Oh god, why must he wear leather pants?_' Roy thought, as he gulped when he felt Ed move. Roy closed his eyes, trying to ignore the sexy Ed, and the way his leg's dragged perfectly against his. But closing his eyes made it even worse, especially when Ed decided to moan out his name.

"Rooooy…mmm…what's wrong?"

Roy had to open his eyes, it was more worst in his mind with his imagination, and he looked down at Ed. Ed was really close to him now, only inches away from this face. Roy longed to ask Ed what the hell was he doing, but if he opened he's mouth, he might accidentally brush against Ed's lips. So he just settled for clamping his mouth shut. Ed noticed this, and smirked.

"Roooy, what's wrong, mm? Am I making you unnnncomfortable?" Ed purred, as he lips lightly brushed against Roy's. Roy stood frozen, not knowing what he should do. Ed moved his legs some more, still pressing them and himself against Roy. Roy gulped, not knowing how to deal with this situation. And ever so slowly, Ed moved his head up a bit more, and kissed Roy full on his mouth.

Roy's mind went blank, as he felt how Ed was moving his mouth across his own. He felt Ed's tongue slowly began to trace his lips, in a back and forth motion. Roy couldn't help but moan.

_'Ah, fuck this!_' He thought, as he broke free from Ed's gasp on his wrist, which had loosened, slide his arms around Ed's small waist and pulled him sharply towards himself. Ed meeped at this, not expecting Roy to respond, and Roy stuck his tongue into Ed's mouth, thrusting it against Ed's.

Ed moaned into this, not expecting this, as the feeling of Roy's tongue against his was overwhelming. Ed kissed Roy back hard and moved his hands from his sides up and round Roy's neck, pulling Roy's head closer to his. Roy smiled into this, as he pressed himself against Ed, using his hands to take off Ed's red jacket. In return, Ed managed to get Roy shirt unbuttoned, as he thrust himself against Roy. Roy moaned to this, as he tried to get Ed's jacket off. After the jacket was off, Roy then moved his hands under Ed's shirt and running them up and down his back. Ed moaned from the bottom of his throat, as he arched his body in response to Roy. Ed's moaning was like music to Roy's ears, as he moved his mouth away from Ed's. He then started to place light kissing along Ed's neck. Ed moaned again loudly, making Roy wilder. He pulled his head back up to Ed's and started to kiss him roughly again. Ed had not complaints about this, as he happily joined Roy in the dance for dominance.

But soon they both had to break apart for air. They looked into each others eyes for a couple of seconds, the room completely silent, then Ed asked a question.

"You do know that you're still a shit head."

Roy smirked at this and even laughed a little. He replied with;

"And you're still a kid"

"Well, you're still a bastard!"

"And you're still short"

"Damnit, Mustang!"

"Ha! Got you there!"

"You know one of these day's I'll come into your house and-"

"Kiss me in my bed?"

"...yes, damnit Mustang!"

"Whatever, pick you up at eight?"

"Yes"

And with that Ed walked out of Roy's office, a hell of a lot happy then before. Even Roy smiled, as he sat back down and continued mucking around on his chair.

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**Ahhh, it's so short! Sorry, sorry! I tried to make it longer, you know, with the making out bit, but it didn't work. Hopefully the mental images will let you forgive me for the shortness.**

**Good? Bad? Does this One-shot even _have_ a plot? Please Review and tell me! Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**


	9. We’re Gonna Roll Right Over This One!

**We're Gonna Roll Right Over This One! **

**--: cries :-- I've just betrayed myself……I…I…I wrote Elricest!**

**ELRICEST!**

**--: cries harder :--**

**omg, I can't believe I wrote this. I hate brother x brother love. But then I saw this stinkin' picture, so I had to write a story based on it. It's a freakin' shame that the picture was an Ed x Al one. Bloody hell, I'll never forgive myself for this!**

**Warnings: Elricest. No, it isn't boyxboy goodness. It's just sick. Brother x brother love. This is also post movie; I changed it a bit so you don't see Winry in it. Muhahahaha! It happens just after Ed crashes back into the underground city, below Central. I may get some stuff mixed up, but other than that it should be ok. Rated 'T' because it has guys kissing, brothers kissing if you want to get technical.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! Just letting you know.**

**Oh, if any of you guys and girls has any requests for a one-shot, I'll be happy to write one for you.**

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Al looked up to the underground roof, in the city underground central. His eyes widen, as he saw this flying object fly from the open gate. He watched it for a bit, as it wobbled in the air, smoke coming from it. As he was watching it, he heard a loud noise, coming from the Gate. He snapped his head back to the gate opening and gaped in wonder. An even bigger flying object came from it. But it quickly basted a hole and rose up to Central. Al, deciding he'll deal with that big flying object later, and turned his attention back to the smaller one. He looked just in time to see it crash. He yelped, hoping there was no one inside it, and ran towards where it landed.

He stopped about a meter or two away from it, still wary over what the hell it was. He waited for the smoke to clear, his eye's widening in shock when the smoke did clear. There, lying on the ground was Ed. He was rubbing his head, mumbling something or other.

Al gasped loudly when he realized who it was, the person he had been missing the most through-out the four years Ed had be absent, and ran towards he at full speed. Ed had only a couple of second to remember what happened, before he was pulled into a bone crushing hug. Al had fallen to the ground, where Ed was sitting, and wrapped his arms around his brother hard. Ed blinked a couple of times, before realizing who this person was.

"Al…?" He questioned at his hugger, hoping it was who he thought it was. Al pulled himself away from Ed, just a tiny bit, and looked into Ed's golden eyes. Ed gasped and pulled Al back into a bone crushing hug, like the one Al just gave him. Al smiled into Ed's chest and hugged him back with equal enthusiasm. Ed openly cried into Al's shoulder.

"Oh my god, Al, I can't believe that's you. I'm so happy you got your body back. I'm so happy to see you, alive, flesh and bone…Al, you have no idea how much I have missed you…"

Al pulled back from the hug again, as he cried looking into Ed's eyes. Both teens cried quietly, in utter bliss of having each other back.

"Brother, Ed, I'm so glad your back. I've missed you so much, you have no idea…" Al started, back was roughly cut off by a pair of lips. His eyes widen again, as he realized it was Ed who was kissing. Al closed his eyes, and let himself be pulled back onto the ground by Ed. Al moaned softly, this being the first time he had kissed someone and let alone his brother, getting used to all these new sensations he was feeling as Ed moved his lips against the one's beneath him. Al was shocked, as he felt Ed's tongue glide slowly back and forth across his lips but opened his mouth any way. He moaned louder, as he felt Ed's tongue touch his own. He was in complete bliss, as both tongues danced together. But it all ended soon enough, as Ed pulled back panting.

"I may have some idea of how much you missed me" said Ed, as Al blushed from beneath him. Ed just laughed, stood up and offered a hand to Al. Al gratefully took it, as he stood up with some help from his brother. He was still a bit dazed from being kissed, and almost fell over. Ed caught him, and chuckled a bit, and kissed Al again. This time, it was just a light, sweet kiss.

"Oh, and by the way Al" Ed said as he pulled out of the kiss.

"Hmm?"

"Welcome home"

Al laughed, as he pulled his brother back into another bone crushing hug.

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**Well, there you go. My first crappy attempt of Elricest, and hopefully my last. I don't think I have the stomach for writing another one. And damnit, it's not even over a thousand words. Not only is it Elricest, it's also very, very short!**

**--: grumble mumble hurt _his_ hippogriff grumble mumble :--**

**Good? Bad? I swear I'll never write Elricest again! Please review and tell me. Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**

**Til next time! **


	10. My Anime Boyfriend

**My Anime Boyfriend can beat up Your Anime Boyfriend**

**Yes, I'm back with another One-shot!**

**Ah, this little One-shot goes out to Sprinkle-Chan, who has added me to her favourite stories. And she's an Aussie girl. Come on, Australia! Today in math, my friend heather and I were playing hangman. You know, that lovely game when you get to hang a man? Yeah, that one. All of it evolved around Roy, Envy or Edvy. It was quite the fun experience.**

**Warnings: Boyxboy goodness, swearing and christen stuff! If you don't' want to read any of the christen stuff, just skip down until you see the first bold and underlined 'X's. Rated 'T' for reasons I don't need to explain. Don't like Shounen ai? Ask yourself why you clicked here in the first place. Also, sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes I make in this fic.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! And never will.**

**This chapter is dedicated to Sprinkle-Chan.**

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Ed quietly sat on the hard mattress, facing the plain ceiling, in the old gray Inn room. The inn room was plain, and only had one bed, a small bedside table, with a couple of draws and complete with lamp and a couch in it. He sighed, thinking of Al, who was visiting Winry in Resembol. Ed was on another useless mission he got from that Colonel Shit. The mission was to inspect the recent murders that had recently been happening in the small town of Wakkidon, were Ed was now.

He was bored out of his mind. The Colonel did give him a report to read, but Ed had already read it about 20 times on the train ride to this town. It wasn't worth reading again, since it gave absolutely no good information on the mission. It was dark outside, so it was no point in starting the mission today. He would have to wait until the morning.

He sighed again and turned over to then lye his side. He let himself slide off into space, his eyes glazing over. He almost fell asleep like this, but he didn't want to sleep yet. He opened his eyes fully and looked around the room, trying to find something to entertain himself with. His eyes fell on the small bedside table. He sighed for the third time, and opened the first draw. Inside it was a bible. He decided he had nothing to lose, and picked up the bible. It was a plain blue colour, with the words Holy Bible written on it. He opened it, flicking through the pages.

Ed had never, ever believed in God. He thought that science could explain everything. In his mind, God was nothing more than something to make people hope for something. He thought God was such a fake.

He flicked through the book for a bit more. It landed on a page in the book of Proverbs. He glanced through the page, and a certain verses caught this eye. He read it slowly in his head.

_"There are six things the LORD hates. In fact, he hates seen things. The LORD hates proud eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that kill those who aren't guilty. He also hates hearts that make evil plans, feet that are quick to do evil, any witness who pours out lies, and anyone who stirs up family fights_

Ed snorted after reading that. It didn't matter to him about any of what that verses said. It was bullshit. But he could relate to it, when he had a sin of this own. He even tried to relate his sins to any of what were there. When he was thinking of that, he was reminded of the seven deadly sins, and then the Homunculi. His eyes turned angry, as he remembered all the crap the Homunculi had done and caused. Before all the angry could bunch up, and cause him to do something he would regret, he quickly flicked through the bible again.

This time, in landed on a page in the book of Ecclesiasters. Again, he read the page in. Another verses caught his eye. It read:

_"A man is born naked. He comes into the world with nothing. And he goes out of it with nothing." _

Ed stared at that verse for a little longer, letting it sink in. He then smirked at it. Sure, it was true, but it did sound weird. _That was truth_, Ed decided, _the verse says the only thing we can count on in this insane world._

Again, Ed flicked through the bible, and as fate had it, the page landed in the book of Galatians.

_"So I say, live by the Holy Spirit's power. Then you will not do what your sinful nature wants you to do. The sinful nature does not want what the Spirit delights in. And the Spirit does not want what the sinful nature delights in. The two are at war with each other. That's what makes you do what you don't want to do. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the authority of the law. What sinful nature does is clear. It enjoys sexual sins, impure acts and wild living. It worships statues of gods. It also worships evil powers. It is full of hatred and fighting. It is full of jealousy and fits of anger. It is interested only in getting ahead. It stirs up trouble. It separated people into their own little groups. It wants what others have. It gets drunk and takes part in wild parties. It does many things of that kind. I warn you now as I did before. People who live like that will not receive God's kingdom._

_But the fruit of the Holy Spirit produces is love, joy and peace. It is being patient, kind and good. It is being faithful and gentle and having control of oneself. There is no law against things of that kind."_

Again, that verse said what was true. Ed was left pondering on it a bit longer. Again, it explained the seven deadly sins, but it also explained what you could do to stop them or even prevent them from happening. Ed smiled, wishing the sins he were explain so simply like that.

Once more, he flicked through the light pages of the bible. It landed on a page in the book of Romans.

"_Sin entered the world because one man sinned. And death came because of sin. Everyone sinned, so death came to all people." _

_Well_, thought Ed, _that's just plain dark_. Ed also thought that verse was rubbish. People die anyway, no matter how they lived. It was utter rubbish in Ed's mind. He had finally had enough of reading this complete shit, so he closed the bible, placed it back in the draw, turned off all the lights and let sleep fall over him.

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Outside the window, on the tree limb that just happened to reach all the way to the room Ed was staying in, sat a palm-tree. Since it was dark, that's what you thought you saw if you looked up to that tree. But if you took the time to stare at the palm tree, you would notice that's an actually human. Well, a homunculi but most people don't know that. The homunculi's name was Envy, and he had been waiting since Ed had arrived in the Inn to finally fall asleep. He grinned sadistically, the only way he could smile, and creped again the branch. He reached the window to Ed's room in no time, and opened it. Ed didn't even think to lock it. Envy grinned as he stepped through the window and into the dull, grey Inn room. Envy wrinkled his nose a bit, and held down a snort. How could a Sate Alchemist for god's sake, sink so long as to stay at this worthless Inn? Envy just shook his head in disappointment, and moved on. He had a mission to complete here, so he better hurry up with it.

Envy never lost that grin as he walked his way over to where Ed was sleeping. He slowly pulled something out from his pocket in the back of this skort, and slowly bent over Ed as he slept. Sadly, he accidentally rustled the object and that caused Ed woke up.

Ed immediately knew someone else was in his Inn room. He kept his breathing steady, making sure who ever was in here didn't know he was a wake. And ever so slowly, he turned over in his sleep.

Envy froze on the spot when he saw Ed turn over. But he relaxed again when he realized Ed was still asleep. Envy grinned again, and went back to his mission. But before he could complete, Ed opened his eyes, turned on the light and had his metal arm, transformed as a blade, pointed at Envy's throat. Envy froze again and cursed. He had been caught. But he still tried to keep his cool.

"Hello……Chibi…what brings you here?" Envy asked weakly. Ed frowned at Envy, and then his eyes went wide as he saw what Envy was doing. What Ed saw was Envy. Holding flowers. About to place them on the bed side table. Ed stared Envy right in the eye.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

Envy flinched silently as the tone of voice Ed used. Ed wasn't a very happy person when he was awakened at, Envy's eyes quickly traveled to the clock and back, three o'clock in the morning. Envy mentally groaned, thinking of a way to take control of this situation. Envy's mind went through many things in a couple of seconds, but only one of them seemed the best choice right now. Especially if he was to complete his mission.

In a flash, Envy moved like the wind and had Ed pinned down to the bed. Ed's eyes were wide with shock and a light blush tickled his cheeks. He had never really been this close to anyone other then his brother before. And he fought with his brain over the fact that Envy isn't that attractive…or manly…or sexy…or has the most beautiful purple eyes you have ever seen. And, of course, his brain was winning. He struggled to get loose from Envy, but failed in a miserable way. He gave up and just settled to glaring at Envy.

Envy smirked down at the Chibi - His Chibi his brain couldn't help but think - as he had Ed complete under his power. He smirked evilly as he pinned Ed's hands with one of his own, above Ed's head and ran one cold finger up and down the side of Ed's face. Ed shivered at the cold friction it created, still fighting with his mind, that he was not enjoying Envy being on top. Ed jerked his head away from Envy's hand, still glaring at him. Envy only looked surprised for a second when Ed suddenly jerked his head away, but soon his grin grew wider at the obvious discomfort that Ed was feeling.

"Hm, Edo? Don't like me touching you, eh? Now, now, that will not do..." Envy's sentence trailed off, as he continued to trace his finger around Ed's face, pursing here and there to poke said face. Ed continued to glare at Envy. Envy made a tutting noise at this, waiting a different reaction from Ed. Envy muttered some inhuman things to himself, as he lowered his head towards Ed's. Ed's eyes widen more, as he felt Envy's breath tickle his cheek.

"Come on Ed, I will make you scream…one way or another. I will get a reaction from you, whether it be out of torture or something a bit more fun…" And Envy left that sentence, that just screamed rape, hanging in the air for a bit, before crashing his lips against Eds. Ed's brain went into shock mode, as he felt Envy move on top of him, in an rather smexily manner. Ed tried not to moan, as he felt Envy's hips ran against his own, and Envy's tongue move across his lips. Without even thinking, he opened his mouth and kissed Envy back. Hard. Thrusting him self back up against Envy, who wasn't expecting that.

Envy gave a small cry of surprise, as he felt Ed's body respond to his. He even let out a moan of this own, as Ed thrust his body upwards, crushing both bodies together. Envy let go of Ed's hands and ran his own hands up and down Ed. Envy was extremely enjoying this, the way his Chibi moved, moaned and responded, but all good things had to end. And this just happened to end in a fist colliding with Envy's face.

Envy was thrown backwards, off the bed and onto the poorly carpeted floor below. He moaned in pain, rubbing his butt, as he looked up and glared at Ed. Ed was still in shock mode, his eyes widen with shock and disbelief and panting heavily. As his mind finally caught up with all that had happened he was bright red and dived under the covers of his bed. Envy chuckled at his rather embarrassed Chibi, stood up and sat on the bed. He crawled into the bed, from the end, and met inside the covers half way where Ed had his eyes shut tight.

"It. Was. A. Dream. It. Was. A. Dream. but…then why the hell was I dreaming about Envy! This is so screwed up…" Ed muttered softly, into the hard bed mattress, as he poorly tried to convince himself that all that had just happened was part of some crazy drea- er, nightmare.

_'But you loved it, didn't you Ed? You craved for Envy as he was lying on top of you. You moaned for more, loving every minute of it. Loving the way he touched you, the way a spark of what seemed to be electricity run though your skin as he touched it. Loving the way both tongues ran together, sending sensations through your body, clouding your mind and making you beg for more. Loving th-_'

"Fine, fine. I enjoyed it, but it doesn't make it right! The bible, God, is against this kind of stuff" Ed muttered back into the mattress, entertaining Envy who Ed didn't even know was there.

'_You don't believe in God…_' His mind pointed out that obvious fact.

"Damnit!" yelled Ed, opening his eyes and raising his head. The first thing he saw was Envy, and it scared him half to death. "Wahh!" he screamed out again, trying to throw off the covers. But all this ended up doing was untangling Ed into the covers and failing off the bed. Envy also fell off the bed, Ed being the dumbass he is, being untangled under the covers and all. Both of them landed hard on the ground, groaning and trying to figure out what had happened. Ed was the first one to recover, groaning and trying to stand up. He failed, as he realized he was tangled. In the bed sheets. With someone as else beneath him. He groaned again when he realized who it was.

Envy also groaned, as landing on the ground hurt like hell. He also tried to stand, and like Ed, he couldn't. He looked up, and saw golden eyes stare into his own. He smirked at this.

"After trying to avoid me Chibi, you are taking your sweet ass time to get off me. But we can't have that, can we" Envy purred at Ed and wrapped his arms around the Chibi's little waist and pulled Ed down onto his hips. Ed meeped at this, not expecting that sudden movement.

Ed glared into Envy eyes, as he tilted his head away from Envy's chest. But Ed could help to blush at this closeness he just wasn't used too. And as if on automatic, Ed moved his head closer to Envy's. His eyes slowly scanned Envy's face, as if looking for some hint of rejection, and closed his mouth over Envy's. Envy smiled into this, as he kissed back hard, pulling Ed closer to him. This time, it was Ed who opened his mouth and pressed it against Envy's. Envy immediately opened his mouth, pushing his tongue against Ed's and beginning the fight for dominance. Ed moaned into Envy's throat, as he ran his hands up and down Envy's skin. It was Envy's' turn to moan, as he felt these light touches Ed was giving him. Envy pulled his mouth away from Ed's and started to attack Ed's throat. Ed almost purred at this and threw his head back, allowing Envy full access to his neck. Envy moved his mouth against said throat, biting and sucking here and there. Ed's grip on Envy tighten, as he wriggled against Envy's stomach. Soon he couldn't handle Envy kissing his throat anymore, and brought Envy back into another kiss.

After a couple more moments of this sweet kissing, Ed pulled back panting and grinning.

"Well, there's nothing like a little guilty pleasure to brighten up your night!" Ed grinned evilly. Envy chuckled and brought Ed back into some more "guilty pleasure".

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**Let me just say, that all the bible verses I used, came straight from my bible. They are all real verses. It's called the _Kids' Devotional Bible_. It's like for ages 6-10, and even though I'm older than that, I still use it. And I'm not trying to pay out Christians, I am Christian myself, I just think that's how Ed would respond to the bible.**

**I got the idea for this story, from when I went to a Christian discovery camp. It was great fun, so I thought I'll write a story about it. Yay for us all. Also, I needed more Edvy in my cafferine system, blood's been taking over said caffereine system by the way, as wrote this. It's also because I wrote…--: shudder :-- Elricest. Never again.**

**Good? Bad? Yay for Edvy! Please review and tell me! Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**

_"Don't brag about tomorrow. You don't know what a day will bring" – **Proverbs –**_

**That's my favourite verse from the bible! Just thought I'll share it…**

**--: cough :--**

**Anyway, bye bye and thanks for reading!**


	11. And Once Again, We Fall Down

**And Once Again, We Fall Down**

**Yay, another One-shot!**

**Yes, this is a kind of "Go with the flow" kind of fic. I really couldn't be stuff to write a whole start for this. So just** **imagine! Hopefully you'll still understand it…**

**Warnings: fluff, a tad of boyxboy goodness and swearing to the max. Rated 'T' because of all the swearing.**

**A lot of yelling in this One-shot…I made this One-shot to see what it would be like in Ed and Envy's relationship, with them being both as stubborn as hell.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA! Wow, that was obvious!**

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"What? So you can go and fuck some useless bitch? Tell me, was she better than me, huh? Tell me the FUCKING TRUTH YOU BASTARD!" screamed Ed at Envy, as he stood on the other side of the room of the apartment they shared. Ed was getting angrier, as Envy failed to respond to Ed. Ed was now shaking with rage, as he failed to hold it all back, "FINE! You know what? I really can't stand you! I've NEVER been able to stand you! You're such a FUCKING BASTARD! I leave for just one little week and you've already gotten yourself a new toy! Was I-"

"SHUT UP! Shut up you useless SON OF A BITCH!" roared Envy back at Ed. Surprising, Ed did shut up and just glared at Envy. "You don't understand ANYTHING! Like I've done wrong? I've KNOWN where you've been! Was Roy as good as me, hm! Was I NOTHING TOO YOU? So don't you DARE to try and blame this on me! I hate you…I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH!" ended Envy in tears as he jumped out the open window behind him, landed cat like on the ground and ran away into the night. Ed just stood there stunned. But soon Envy's words seem to have reached Ed's brain.

"Yeah! Well, I hate you too!" Ed screamed at the spot where Envy once stood. He then ran over to the open window, stuck his head out of it and bellowed, "I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD! I ALWAYS HAVE AND ALWAYS WILL!" Ed then broke down and cried loudly out the open window. He really couldn't believe Envy had left him. Sure, they always fought, also argued loudly, but nothing as big as this. Ed cried harder, as the memories of Envy's touch, kisses and much, much more came flooding back into his head. He sunk back into the apartment, walking slowly to his and Envy's bed. He collapsed on it and continued to cry for about five more minutes. He then sat up, sniffed and walked out of the apartment to go and find Envy.

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Envy was still so pissed off at Ed, as he continued to run and try to put as much distance between himself and that dumb apartment as he could. People pointed at him as he ran past, but he gave no attention to them as he kept running. Finally, after running for what seemed like ages, he came to a stop in the part of town where not many people lived. He looked around the dark, totally deserted area and just sat down in the middle of the road. He then lay down and looked at the night sky. The stars in the sky always did wonders to him and his temper, as Ed and him often got angry. When they did fight, Envy would always leave the house, go to this spot, lie down and stare at the night sky. Ed, in turn would then go find Envy and apologize, they would then walk home together.

Envy wondered if it would be the same this time. He was still so angry at Ed, for accusing him of cheating when Ed had no way of proving it. He also felt a little guilty, at accusing Ed at cheating on him with Roy. Envy knew that Roy was like a father to Ed, and they spent a lot of time together working on military stuff. Envy couldn't help but feel jealous of Roy, as he was spending time with HIS chibi. Envy sighed and cleared all those thought out of his head. But he didn't get any more time to study the stars, as he heard someone approaching fast. He sat up and then stood up and waiting for Ed.

Ed sprinted through the streets. He knew where Envy was. Envy always went to the same spot after they fought like that. Ed hoped that Envy was still there, they had never had a fight this big before. He heart filled with happiness as he round the corner and found Envy standing, ready to meet him.

Ed slowed until he was walking, and walked over to Envy grinning. But his grin soon turned to a frown, as he noticed that Envy had turned away from him and started to walk.

"Envy. Envy! Where the FUCK are you going?" bellowed Ed at Envy. Envy turned around to face Ed and shook his head.

"Envy!" screamed Ed as Envy began to turn around and walk away. "Don't you bloody dare walk away from me! Do you have ANY idea what you do to me when you're not there? I swear I'm going complete insane! So don't you even THINK about running away from this, Envy, you BASTARD! I love you, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I want to feel the way I feel when I'm with you again! I want to be the only hand you need to hold onto! Don't you understand? I FUCKING love you, YOU BASTARD! I LOVE YOU! Not Roy, not some other bitch, but YOU! YOU are the only person I need in my life, so you get your ass back here so I can stop MISSING you so bloody much!" sobbed Ed, crying as he watched Envy continue to walk. Ed growled. Over his dead body was the person he loved going to walk away from him! He ran towards Envy and tackled him roughly to the ground. They both landed painfully on the cement ground, with Ed on top. "No! NO, NO, NO, NO! You WILL NOT walk away! Don't you hear me; I LOVE YOU and I WILL NOT let you go! Not now, NOT EVER!" Ed cried into Envy's chest. Envy looked shocked for only a second, before he smiled a true smile.

"Ed, oh Ed. Sorry, I'm so sorry! I don't know how you can forgive me, but I am truly sorry. Please, please at least try" Envy whispered to Ed. Ed looked up into those purple eyes he had been missing for...well, only about an hour. He also smiled, as he brought his head up and captured Envy in a sweet kiss. Envy immediately responded, also missing those warm lips upon his own, kissing Ed back harder and knowing in that special moment, that Ed really did love him, not matter what words he said. A small tear escaped Envy's eye, as he pushed back his chibi onto the cold floor, tasting Ed, feeling Ed. Slowly he pulled away from Ed's lips. Ed looked confused at this, and opened his mouth to complain. But Envy stopped him with another quite kiss, before speaking.

"Edo, oh Edo. I've missed you too. Come on; let's go back to the apartment. I miss the way you move your tongue against me. And your moans, how I miss you moaning my name. Let's go now, come on." whispered Envy, his voice becoming quieter as it got to the end of the sentence. Ed smiled, only blushing a tad and nodded. Envy grinned at this, happy to be back with Ed. He stood up, and gave a hand to Ed. Ed took the hand and started to walk home with Envy. Envy smiled, enjoying this happy moment, as he knew it won't last. They will fight again, he knew it, and end up not being able to stand in each other's presence. He dreading those times in advance now, but shook his head to clear those thoughts away. He'll just deal with it when it happened.

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**How's that cheesy ending for ya, hey? The middle is really lame, but I like the rest of it!** **HA! It didn't even make much sense in one part.**

**Good? Bad? So sucky that I should just stop writing forever? Please Review! I need to know if my writing's good or crap! Flames will be accepted, grammar and spelling checked, and sent back to the senders.**

**Til next time!**


	12. I Lost My Fear of Falling

**I Lost My Fear of Falling**

**Writers block and I'm screwed. Yes, that's right, screwed. So, this one-shot will be weak, pathetic and overall sad. I'm sorry, but I did try my best with my writers block.**

**Warnings: OOC to the EXTREME, and so suggested shounen ai. Rated 'T' so I don't have to change the rating of anything else. But really, this one shot more like 'K+'. And thanks to anyone who actually reads my warnings. It's also extremely short.**

**I DON'T' OWN FMA! Well, duh!**

**Kind of based off a story I wrote in English.**

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I, Envy, have come to a conclusion that may shock people and homunculi alike.

I've decided that I love the way he smiles.

That's it. I love the way he smiles. Nothing more, nothing less.

I just adore the way he faces lights up when he sees me. His eyes glow brighter and that damn smile I love so much grows bigger. If only you could see him through my eyes. It'll take your breath away, just like it takes my breath away every time and any time I see him. I swear it's magical.

But there's a difference between you and me. You see, I can hold, touch, and kiss him. You can't. Well, you could try, but I bet you that you'll get out of it with a new arm that looks like a monkey's ass.

And his eyes. Don't get me started on those eyes. I worship the way they just seem to glow as I hold him in my arms. I love the way he looks at me with those eyes, as he stares up at me. I adore the way those eyes seem to smile at me, as I come towards him.

I think it's adorable the way I see him when he thinks I'm not there. I swear, his eyes look as dark as they can get, without losing that lovely golden colour they have, when he just walks out of that Colonel's office. I giggle silently to myself, as I stalk him for a bit until he's out of the building, then I change back to my cute form and pin him against a nearby wall or tree.

I also love his hair. Everything about it. Down to it's golden colour and stubborn-ness as he tries to tame it in the mornings. I just adore running my fingers through that hair, feeling the way it fall through my fingers. I utterly worship the way it seems to shine as the sunlight catches in a way I've never seen before. I spend most of my life now just starting at the hair sometimes, as we lye down on some grassy spot and just watch the sky for awhile.

I love the way he moves. The way he walks, talks and swings those little hips of his. I love the way he seems to purr as I stroke just one finger up and down his stomach.

I love his attitude. I think it's hilarious when he gets all pissed just because you called him short. I love the way he shouts and screams at the poor person who doesn't even know what they've done to make him so angry.

I love everything about him.

Some people say I'm going soft. But I just spit in there faces. I'm still as hard core as ever, I've just found a new interest. Which is the most important person in my life, who I will give anything too.

Seriously, I'll kill a whole village filled with women and children if he asks me too. Hell, I'll even put on a pink tutu and dance if it'll make me smile some more. I wouldn't change anything about him. He's perfect in my eyes.

Oh, and did I mention that I love the way he smiles?

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**Short and sweet. It's short, but it's the best I could do in my writers block.**

**Good? Bad? Way to OOC? Please Review and Tell me! Flames will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.**

'**Til next time!**


	13. Speak up and I’ll pretend to listen

**Speak up and I'll pretend to listen**

**Yay, this is the sequel to I Lost My Fear of Falling!**

**Warnings: OOC-ness and that's about all. It's also extremely short, so watch out!**

**I DON'T OWN FMA!**

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Some people say I'm crazy when I tell them I love him.

Especially Al. He thinks I'm the craziest of them all when I told him who I loved. He told me it was just a crush, and I should try to get over him as fast as possible. He also says, how could I love someone so evil? I just tell Al that he's not _that_ evil. Really.

But I know that he isn't just a crush, that it's the real thing. I know it every time I see him. In my head, when I stare into those damn purple eyes, I think 'He's the one for me' and I mean that with all my heart and soul. Sappy, I know it's not my style. But hey, even I can't help the way I feel.

But even if I could stop loving him, I wouldn't. Even though I told myself again and again that I didn't love him, it never convinced me. Because every time he kisses me, he means it. And every single time I kiss back, crushing my warm lips against his cold ones, I know that I mean it as well.

Though, I am still the badass that everyone knows and loves, but even every body needs someone to love.

But there's no way you could understand how I could love him, unless you see him through my eyes. You don't even know who bright his eyes can shine, when he's on top of me before he lowers his head and kisses me sweetly with his cold lips. I then moan as it turns into magic.

No one understands and I know that to be true. Who can love a homunculus? They're evil. But I have proved them wrong. I've fallen in love with him and I wouldn't have it any other way.

I love him and that's all that matters.

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**Enjoy it? Well, I did.**

**Good? Bad? Crap? Please Review and tell me!** **Flames will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add** **sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.**

**--------------------------------**

**Editor's note-**

**And when she says it's a hard process, it's true. Very true. Because, you see, her poor editor only has this lump of metal that she has to call a PC. It's very sad. And, did you know, reviews speed up my PC and flames, uh, well they flame it and slow it down a lot. So don't flame and review so I can edit and send these things back to her faster, therefore allowing Panic to post them even faster. Wouldn't that be great? It would be, ever so much. NOW REVIEW! Please? I'll even convince Ed to let you borrow Envy for a while!**


	14. Baby Got Back

**Baby Got Back**

**Omg, another One-shot!**

**Yes! I've got a voice! Random, I know, but I have it!**

**I just want to give a holla out to all the people that have reviewed. Holla, YOU ROCK! I LOVE you guys so much! I if could bake you cookies, I would!**

**Warnings: light Boyxboy goodness, OOC to the MAX! And swearing. Rated 'T' because I don't care anymore.**

**I DON'T OWN FMA!**

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Ed was having a crappy day. First off, he left his red coat on the train that he took back to Central after ANOTHER failed mission. Then he had to go report to the Colonel SHIT HEAD! About said mission that was a total waste of time. Then he got called short at least five times and found out that his brother was going away to spend some time with the Rockbell's. And on the way home, Ed almost got raped by this dog, which managed to steal this boot.

And when he came home, he really didn't want to deal with an overzealous homunculus.

The first thing he saw when he opened the front door to the house, which he just got in Central, was green as that crazy palm tree pulled him into a bone crushing hug. It took a second for Ed to realize that the green belonged to Envy, as the palm tree had been made to wait for him when he got home from his workday. Ed sighed, and return Envy's hug with a small one of his own. Ed moved his head so it was resting on Envy's shoulder. They both stayed in the safety of the hug before pulling away.

"So, how was your day, Chibi-san!" Envy asked happily, as he followed Ed through the house and into the kitchen.

"Crappy." was the word Ed muttered, as he opened the fridge to get out some OJ. He turned back around and came face to face with Envy. Normally, Ed would've flinched and backed away. But he had gotten quite used to it, as Envy had been visiting Ed for a while now. So Ed just kept his face blank, stepped to the right and walked past Envy. Well, tried to walk past, as Envy wrapped his long, thin arms around Ed's small waist. Ed didn't even react when Envy placed his head on Ed's shoulder.

"Come on, Ed, it couldn't have been that bad…" purred Envy into Ed's ear. Ed didn't move a muscle, as he became more relaxed and his eyes went all glazed.

"You wouldn't understand, Envy, you weren't there…" Ed said, as he slowly brought his hands up so they could stroke Envy's long, black-green hair. Ed felt Envy relax and start to purr under the influence of the hand movement on his head. Ed smirked at his, letting his face pull into a grand, lovely smile. "You know what, Envy?"

"Hmm?"

"You remind me of a house wife."

That kind of killed the peaceful moment those two had going.

"WHAT?"

"Well, I think it's true. You wait for me at my house, meet me at the door when I first come in and ask me how my day's been. That seems like a house wife too me."

"No. No way am I your house wife. I'm an evil killing machine! An evil kill- oo look, a butterfly!" as Envy's rant died as he let go off Ed and went to go chase that butterfly. Ed just shook his head and watch Envy run around. But when Envy was just about to catch that butterfly, he tripped over his own feet. Ed couldn't help but laugh as Envy feel onto the hard ground.

"See? How could someone who acts so cute be truly evil?" Ed said with a smirk, as he offered Envy a hand to help him up. Envy glared at Ed in a kind of I'm-SO-going-to-murder-you-with-a-tooth-brush kind of way, but still took Ed's hand. Envy stood up with the help of Ed, and immediately pulled Ed into another hug. Ed sighed dramatically and rolled his eyes, but still leaned into the touch.

"I'm not a house wife." said Envy quietly and depressed like into Ed's shoulder. Ed just nodded and patted Envy's back.

"Yes Envy, of course Envy, whatever you say Envy, I'll do whatever you want." muttered Ed under his breath. Envy smirked evilly at this.

"Anything I want?" he whispered into Ed's ear. Ed went immediately red and jumped away from Envy.

"But nothing perverted." Ed quickly added to his sarcastic remark that Envy wasn't meant to hear. "And I take that back, you are evil you sick pervert. That's rape!"

"It's not rape if you enjoy it…" added Envy, rather seductively, as he walked towards the way freaked out Ed. Ed gulped as Envy made his way over, swinging his hips to and fro. Ed blushed harder as he followed the movement of the hips.

"Come on, Envy, why can't we just leave it 'G' rated for once!" Ed said as he tried to convince Envy not to rape him.

"Fine, fine Ed. But I'll be back tomorrow!" Envy said, as he ran to the nearest window at jumped out of it.

"Envy! This is only a one-story house! Don't try and flip-"

-SMACK-

Ed sighed as he made his way over to the window. He stuck his head out the window, and found Envy sitting on the ground rubbing his ass. Ed sighed again and jumped out the window as well. Ed made his way over to Envy, knelt down and gave him a hug. After a couple of seconds in this embrace, Ed pulled back and stared into Envy's' lovely purple eyes. He smiled again, lighting up his whole face, before he busted out laughing for the second time today. Envy growled, pushed Ed off, stood up and brushed himself off while listening to Ed rant on.

"That was the funniest thing I've seen in a while! I can't believe your stupid enough to jump out of a low one-story house and try to do a flip! But I don't think it was as funny as the time you tripped over your own feet! That was also- hey, where are you going!" yelled Ed, as he chased after Envy. Envy growled again as he heard Ed approach him.

"Look, Chibi, I don't care-" Envy started, but he was cut off by Ed giving him a kiss on the cheek. When Ed pulled away, Envy's hand immediately touched the stop where it had been kissed. They both stood in silence for awhile, before it was broken by Ed.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow! Bye!" said Ed as he gave Envy one last smile, before turning around to climb back through the open window.

"Wait, what was that for?" Envy yelled after Ed.

"For lifting me up when I was down." Ed said as he climbed through the window and back into his own house. Envy smiled at the open window where Ed disappeared and, still touch the now tingling stop where Ed had kissed him, walked away from the house.

But don't worry, he'll be back tomorrow.

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**You know what I really like doing? Naming my One-shots. It's really, really fun! I look forward to it every time I write a story.**

**Good? Bad? If someone fell out a window, would you hug them? I know, this story wasn't my best, but please review anyway so I can write a good one! Flames will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add** **sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.**

**Grr, I have writers block. I hate it, everything I seem to write is crap. So, I won't be updating anything else for awhile. Sorry, sorry.**

**Ja, mata!**

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**Editor note:**

Review, I command you. PLEASE! I feel miserable about having to wake up early and go to school everyday so cheer me up and review! And don't forget to read and review all of Panic's other stories so I feel even better! Bleh, no one likes homework and whoever invented it was some evil sadistic monster. Gym, too!


	15. If You've Got It, Flaunt It!

**If You've Got It, Flaunt It!**

**I will reach 100 one-shots! I will, I will! But right now, I'm not even a quarter away, Damnit! But hopefully I will get there soon!**

**You know what a good band that Envy would so listen to, would be Slipknot. Reasons: well, because you can't hear what their saying. The band is loud. And they yell about how bad their lives are/how they are all misunderstood or some shit like that. I don't actually know, since I've never listened to Slipknot before. **

**Warnings: light Boyxboy goodness, OOC and swearing. Rated 'T' because I love the night light and I love to boogy. **

**I don't own FMA!**

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Ed huffed and puffed as he climbed up the nearly vertical hill. His mind went along with the idea that climbing a huge, almost vertical hill wasn't the best method of relaxation. In truth, it was doing the opposite. But since Ed was almost to the top, and had promised himself that he would see a sunset, he continued on a climb in search for tranquility and relaxation. However, he wasn't going to do this peacefully and complained to no one with every step he took.

"Dammit, how could I have thought that this would help me to relax? I must have been drugged by that stupid Colonel son of a bitch! I swear I am never going to climb this hill again!" complained Ed, as he marched through the mud, grass and god knows what that was left on the ground of the hill. We all know that Roy didn't drug Ed; Ed just liked to blame everything that went wrong in his life on him.

Ed tripped over a small rock and fell on his face again for like the 12th time. He swore loudly, since no one was there, and got back up and continued on his way to the top of the hill. Amazingly, he reached the top before the sun had set. Which is a tad slow, since he started about three hours ago. But he wasn't complaining as he reached the very top of the hill, which overlooked the city and ocean, and saw the most striking scene Ed had ever seen.

"…wow" said Ed as he viewed the scene before him. Beautiful was the word suck in his mind, as his eyes observed this wonderful sun set. The sky glowed with it's usually colours of orange, yellow, green and blue, but today it had a little twist. The sun set somehow turned the ocean yellow as well. Ed stood, hypnotized, and just watched the sun set where he stood. All this thoughts about everything that had happened escaped his mind, and replaced with the sun set.

Ed slowly moved forward, towards the edge of the hill, to where a log laid on the ground. He sat down, still staring at the lovely sun set and ocean and let his mind wonder.

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Envy hated sunsets, and this lovely scene before him wasn't going to change his mind. Never in his 400 years of life, had he ever saw a sunset like this. The sun had some how defied logic and turned the ocean yellow. But Envy didn't really care. He only stood on this hill for one reason and one reason alone. And that reason just happened to be sitting on a log, in front of where Envy stood.

Envy smiled sadistically, since that was the only way he knew how to smile, and watched his Chibi from a far. Today, it was a great honour to see Ed. Also, the sun light caused Ed's golden hair to shine bright, catching the light in what seemed to match the sun set perfectly. This slight would have caused Envy to lose all train of thought and breath. But, it's Envy so that just doesn't happen. So, he sat down a couple meters from Ed, and watched Ed watch the sun set.

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Ed knew all along that he was being watched by Envy, who was watching him watch the sunset he was currently watching. He had been waiting for Envy to finally come out and kill him, but his patience was oh so short, so Ed decided to make the first move.

"Envy, hurry up already! You can't hide in the glass forever, your hair is a dead give away!" Shouted Ed behind him, as he turned around to face Envy. Ed heard the grass shuffle and some swear loudly. And just like in a movie, Envy emerged from the grass. And seeing Envy took Ed's breath away.

Envy's body seemed to light up with the sun light tickling his thin body frame. Envy ran a hand through his hair, making the green-black hair caught the light, giving is a lighter and prettier green colour instead of the plain black. Envy's purple eyes, also seemed to glow bright as Ed caught those eyes. But all this magical moments were taking away by Envy, as it was what he was born to do.

"What the hell are you starting at, Chibi?"

And what a way to kill the moment.

Ed exploded. "Dammit Envy! Why can't I just enjoy one fucking sunset without seeing your ass! Quit bothering me so I can watch this fucking beautiful sun set so I can fucking relax! So just go way, you freaking tall palm tree!" yelled Ed at Envy, before turning around back to face the sun set, forgetting that just a second ago, he was admiring just how wonderful Envy looked in the sun set.

Envy blinked a couple of times, before regaining control of his ear drums.

"So, what are you doing here?" asked Envy. He then froze and shook his head. He must be losing his mind, as the Envy he was didn't ask questions like that. Usually, he was an act now and ask questions later person. But this method of problem solving didn't usually work, since he ended up killing the person before he got to the questions bit. But Ed didn't seem to take any notice.

"I'm here to try and relax, and that isn't going while you're here! Go and distract someone else!" replied Ed in a calm voice, which was clearly forced in hopes of relaxation. Envy just snorted at Ed, waked over to the log and sat down next to Ed. Ed turned to look at Envy, about to yell at him, but closed his mouth and admired Envy's face again.

With his face on the side, Envy looked even more beautiful in the sunset colours. A peace expression fell over his face, as he closed his eyes. Ed sighed, gulped and turned his attention back to the sunset, while his mind was screaming '_Resist temptation,** Resist temptation!**_'

Though this didn't work at all, and Ed just had to get a little closer to Envy. Don't ask why, but Ed might have been drugged by Roy. Who knows, because I sure don't.

Envy did however notice Ed shuffle closer to him. But Envy didn't say anything though. He actually really liked it. And Envy always got what he wanted. So, in an every so subtle movement, Envy moved his hand and placed it over Ed's. He hoped that the Chibi didn't explode again.

Ed jumped slightly as he felt something attach it's self to his hand. He turned his head down to his hand, and saw a pale on covering it. But Ed didn't scream. Not this time, anyway. Instead, Ed turned his hand over and tangled his fingers with Envy's. He then smiled at the sun set and continued to try and find inner peace.

But sun sets can only go for so long until twilight sets in. So the world was then thrown into pinks and purples as the sun disappeared behind the once again blue ocean.

Envy was getting nervous. He actually had a reason for stalking Ed, even if it was a tad suspicious. So, just as the sun set disappeared behind the ocean, Envy leaned towards Ed and captured his lips in a soft kiss.

Ed yelped, surprised to find his lips pressed lightly against cold ones. But before he could protest, or even kiss back, Envy moved away from Ed. Ed just sat there, stunned, as he stared into Envy's purple eyes.

"…beautiful." whispered Ed again and smile, while not breaking eye contact he had going with Envy. Ed leaned in to Envy, and caught his lips in a kiss also.

Envy smirked into this kiss, pressing his lips against Ed's. Ed saw stars, as Envy moved his mouth across Ed's, deepening the kiss more. His body also started to shake lightly, as he as not used to being kissed like this. But he did love it. Oh, he decided this was the best thing in the only entire world. He wanted more, but before he could Envy pulled away again.

"Sorry, Chibi. I've still gotta be evil." smirked that oh-so-in-control-palm-tree-like homunculi. But Envy loved it also, as he licked his lips which still tingled with that kiss. Envy turned to attention back to the sunset once more.

But Ed kept looking at Envy. He really couldn't understand how Envy could be so in much control of his body. Didn't he feel the need as well? The need to have more? Ed didn't want to rush into this, because part of himself still disagreed and argued that Ed shouldn't have kissed Envy. Ed sighed, moved himself right next to Envy, so close that Envy could feel all the heat Ed's body was giving off, and rested his head on Envy's shoulder.

So, the two of them finished watching this twilight together.

But all pretty things must come to an end, as Ed found out when Envy had to leave. So, Envy ran off into the darkness that had come about twenty minutes ago and Ed was forced to wake back in the dark down this very dangerous hill.

And maybe, Ed thought as he made his way in the dark down that damn vertical hill, that he may just climb this hill again. But only and only if he found what he found today waiting for him at the top.

Sadly, those thoughts were pushed out of his head as he feel over a rock he didn't see. He grumbled to himself as he got back up again, and found out that he could barley see his hand in front of his face. He cursed himself for staying so long and started again the dangerous journey down hill.

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Omg, my friend sent me the CUTEST thing today! I just have to share it with you all!

_Around the corner I have a friend, _  
_In this great city that has no end, _  
_Yet the days go by and weeks rush on, _  
_And before I know it, a year is gone. _  
_And I never see my old friends face, _  
_For life is a swift and terrible race, _

_He knows I like him just as well, _  
_As in the days when I rang his bell. _  
_And he rang mine but we were younger then, _  
_And now we are busy, tired men. _  
_Tired of playing a foolish game, _  
_Tired of trying to make a name. _

_"Tomorrow" I say! "I will call on you _  
_Just to show that I'm thinking of him." _  
_But tomorrow comes and tomorrow goes, _  
_And distance between us grows and grows. _  
_Around the corner, yet miles away, _  
_"Here's a telegram sir," "You died today." _

_And that's what we get and deserve in the end. _  
_Around the corner, a vanished friend. _

_Remember to always say what you mean. _  
_If you love someone, tell them. _  
_Don't be afraid to express yourself. _

_Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. _  
_Because when you decide that it is the right time it might _  
_be too late. _

_Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you the person that you are _  
_today._

**Anyway…**

**That Hill is actually real. I've climbed it. Twice. And I'm quite proud of myself. It's seriously an almost a vertical hill, with mud, grass and black berry thorns everywhere on the ground. Though I've never climbed down it at night, I did fall over more than 12 times. It hurt like hell.**

**Good? Bad? Awesome? --: looks around hopefully :-- Please review and tell me! ****Flames will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.**

Editor's Note!

**I have to wonder if Panic hates my notes or something. But I really can't help it, they're just so much fun to write! Hey didn't you all think that poem was adorable? Just like her, Panic's, story? If you did, review! If you didn't, review! If you honestly don't care and you aren't even reading this, review! But don't flame. Never ever flame because flamers are mean and they're the ones that get called into guidance for a talk on bullying or whatever mental issue you must have to be flaming. But critique, that's a different story. Because critique is good if it's useful. Be nice and review! Or else Envy will chase you down with cafeteria food!**


	16. I love ya, Tomorrow!

**I Love Ya….Tomorrow**

**Oh, yes, I bring you a lovely new one-shot!**

**I spent last night reading all these really, really depressing stories. I even started to cry during one of them. So, I really wanted to write something really happy. I am now addicted to happy endings. **

**You know what? I am SO writing a Halloween story. Random, yes I know.**

**Warnings: Boyxboy goodness, OOC and swearing. Also, it's extremely short. Rated 'T' because when I think of you, I touch myself.**

**I don't own FMA or the song Tomorrow by Lea Salonga.**

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When Ed woke up this morning, he knew it was going to be a bad day when he got to work. Of course, he couldn't see into the future or anything but he just knew today was going to suck. So, he left his rented apartment in low spirits, hoping that nothing bad happened to him today.

Yeah, whatever.

On the way to work, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Ed groaned, knowing that this meant only one thing, and turned around only to find himself face to face with Envy.

"Hey, O' Chibi san!" Envy said, smiling brightly. Ed was not amused by this and just ignored Envy. This didn't go very well, since Envy started to poke Ed in the back as he walked.

_Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke-_

"Go away Envy!" growled Ed, as he continued to walk away from the palm tree haired like guy. "I'm not in the mood for your homunculus-ness. Scat before I kill you or something…"

"So, are you feeling down, O' Chibi san?" asked Envy, before flipping over Ed and blocked his path.

"Go away, Envy! Before I go all ninja on your ass!"

"You know what helps? Singing. Singing helps the soul!" said Envy, placing his hands over his heart and sighing over dramatically. Ed made a face like this . , pushed past Envy and continued to walk.

"I'm SO killing your ass one day!" Ed called over his shoulder, as he continued on his way to work. Ed turned a corner and walked along one of the busier streets in Central. He looked behind him, saw no Envy and sighed, enjoying the peace he got before it was, again, destroyed by everyone's favourite homunculus, who had magical caught up with Ed.

"The sun will come out…tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow!" said a voice really close to Ed's ear. Edo, of course, screamed like a little girl.

"Wahh! Go AWAY Envy!" Ed, after turning around, screamed at Envy's face. But Envy took no notice of this and kept on singing.

"There'll be sun just thinking about, tomorrow clears away the cobwebs and the sorrow 'til there's none!"

"Look, Envy, I don't bloody fucking care about sunshine or any of that shit! So just leave. Me. Alone! You got that, or do I have to beat you up?" Ed yelled at Envy and, surprisingly, this did make Envy shut his face. Ed smirked in triumphed, thinking he had won, and turned back around. But no, Envy wasn't going to give up that easily. Just when Ed was a couple meters in front of him, Envy picked up the song again.

"When I'm stuck with the day that's grey and lonely I just stick out my chin and grin and say, ohhh-"

"Dammit, Envy! If you don't sto-" but Ed's rant was cut off, By Envy shouting, more then singing, the song extremely loudly. Loud enough for the people on the street to stop, watch and listen to Envy's singing.

"The sun will come out, tomorrow so you gotta hang on til tomorrow. Com-" Envy didn't get to finish what he was going to sing, since Ed pushed him roughly into the near by alley way and pinned him to a near by wall.

"Look, Envy." Ed started, "You need to STOP SINGING and LEAVE ME ALONE!" blasted Ed into Envy's ear. Envy looked stunned for only a couple moments, before smirking and picking up the song again.

"Oh tomorrow, tomorrow," Envy sang, before looking Ed in the eye. With his ninja-like reflexes, Envy somehow flipped Ed over, so that he now was pinning Ed to the wall.

"Ah, Envy you crazed….crazy guy! What the hell do you thi-" but Ed was cut off AGAIN by Envy. Envy bent down and sang quietly into Ed's ear.

"I love ya…" Envy stated, before moving away from Ed's ear and onto his mouth. Ed's eyes widen with shock, as this 'crazed crazy man' kissed him. Ed's mind went along the thought of _'Fuck this, I haven't been kissed before so I might as well enjoy this shit_', Ed closed his eyes and kissed Envy back. But before they could get any where, Envy pulled back and finished the line of the song. "…tomorrow. You're _always_ a day away!" and with that, Envy let go of Ed and quickly scaled the wall of the building and was out of sight faster then you go say "Roy's wearing a miniskirt!"

Ed stood there, stunned with disbelief at just what happened. Slowly, he brought his hand up to his lips, which were still tingling of the sensation of kissing. Suddenly, his mind finally caught up with him.

"Wait, DAMMIT Envy! Get your ass back here now!" screamed a blushing Ed, looking up at the building Envy disappeared on and waving his fist around in the air. Ed grumbled, now knowing that he would be late to work, and set off again. He hoped that he wouldn't be red when he rocked up at the office, as that would lead to awkward situations that could easily be avoided. But Ed couldn't help think, even hope that Envy would be back tomorrow.

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**Wow, I really thought that'll turn out different. Back whatever, I still think the ending was alright.**

**Good? Bad? So crap you hate me? Please Review and tell me! Flames will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.  
**

---- Note from everyone's favorite editor… Me!

Aww, wasn't that the cutest thing anyone of you have ever read? I know it was, there is no way it wasn't. OMG, I'm still smiling like a crazed maniac, THIS WAS SO CUTE! I can't wait for you guys to review, how many of ya'll are gonna say it was cute? Please? And, of course it was totally adorable since Envy was in it but Panic wrote the story so it BAJUPLED the cuteness! Then we add Ed to the mix… Voila! The awesomest, cutest story to ever decorate and honor So yeah, Review! And I'll give all of you guys super ultra chewing gum!

Ta-ta my ducks,

DaRLinG1357

P.S. Review!


	17. And I'm so sick of Love Songs

**And I'm so sick of Love Songs**

**This oneshot, I think anyway, is really depressing. But, what the hey!**

**Warnings: OOC, angst and swearing. Hints of Edvy (yes!) and it's a horrible short story. Rated 'T' because I am a material girl.**

**I have also finished a Halloween one-shot. I think we barely have any FMA Halloween stories. There are tones of Yu-Gi-Oh ones, but I think not enough FMA. So, write, people, write!**

**You know what I think is funny? People who flame just because it's a yaoi fanfic. I mean, don't they anything better to do with their lives? I have only ever had one flame, for my story Why It's Not Good To Mix Magic With Fullmetal, so I have no idea what it's like. So, basing my information on what I've discovered, I will now write what I think is a bad flame.**

'**Your story is bad. Its rubbish, it's so unnatural to write about gay people. You should go die! You're such a bad person!' – Please note that the review above isn't real. **

**That review is bad for a couple of reasons. One, there is no grammar or spelling mistakes in it. Is it just me, or do all flames have at least one mistake? This flame, the right way to flame, should in fact be like this:**

'**Ur story is bad. Its rubbish, its so innatural to write about gay people. U should go die! Youre such a bad person!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' – Please note that the review above is not real.**

**There we go! And, of course, no flame would be complete without a great number of exclamation marks (!) at the end. **

**But, back to the story.**

**I don't own FMA!!! **

**This is written in Al's POV and Ed and Al own their own house. PATHETICLY SHORT STORY!**

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I'm crying for him.

I don't know why, but I am. I wasn't included in their fight, but I could hear the yelling. I could hear every fucking word that came out of their mouths. I just sat at the table, finishing off my dinner and listening to them scream at each other. Listening to how brother's voice starts to crack and I imagine how he must be feeling right now. Tears start falling from my eyes; the tears that brother should have. But he won't cry. He's too strong, too proud to let someone see him breaking. Or maybe, he just doesn't want to give Envy that satisfaction of seeing what he was doing to him. I listen and a door slams, I'm sure it's brother's door, and then silence. I hear brother's attacker come up behind me. Suddenly, I can't be near him. I start to hate him for what he just did to brother. I feel his presence past me and I hear him grunt. I can't take it any more. I stand up fast; leave my dinner on the table and race to my room.

I shut my door quietly, and then collapse in front of it. I could hear brother crying from his room, but barely. He's good at hiding it. I wonder why Ed had to fall in love with a _hateful_, evil you could say, someone who wasn't even _human_. "God, do you really hate brother that much?" I sniff a couple of times, trying to gain control of my tears. I get off the floor and move to my bed. I sit on it and cry. I curl up onto a ball, my hands on my head and my nails digging into my skull and scream as silently as I can into my mattress.

I'm screaming for Ed, just like I'm crying for him also.

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**Whoa, that's angst. But hopefully it's still good? -;: _Looks around hopefully_ ::-**

**Good? Bad? Just stick to writing about happy stuff? Please Review and tell me!** **Flames** **will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame. Also, my editor is away for a couple for weeks, so I had to find a replacement! I did, though it's only temporary.**

**Now, I would be SO happy if you go and check out one of my new fic, Something More Fun Then the Sky. Thanks, you guys and girls are all awesome!**

**-------- Editors note!**

Don't bother flaming (at least for two weeks) because Panic has a fantastic temporary editor while her usual one is on holiday and I'm not going to grammar and spell check them before Panic can read them.

Love the story, Panic! As usual.


	18. A Loaded God Complex

**A Loaded God Complex**

**Kinky Human/Alien sex? I'm SO there!**

…**.just ignore that, I've been wanted to share that for ages…**

**Omg, sorry to everybody who reads this story! I know, I haven't updating this for a while! I've just been busy….reading Hot human/alien stories….sorry, it's my new obsession! But, I have FINALLY written a new little piece….and I also blame writers block, since I've been feeling really uncreative for the past week or so…well, whatever…**

**Warnings: Boyxboy goodness, OOC and swearing. Rated 'T' because I'm taking Sunday's back.**

**I don't own FMA!!! No, duh!**

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"Knock-knock!"

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"KNOCK-KNOCK!"

"Fine, fine…who's there?"

"Boo."

"AHH!"

"Dammit, Chibi!"

"Ok, ok…boo who?"

"Aww….are you sad, Chibi?!"

"That Envy," started Edward Elric as he continued to sit under a tree in the park, reading one of his science books, "Was the lamest joke I've ever heard."

"Fine then…" pouted Envy, as he sat on the limb just above Ed, looking down at him, "….knock-knock?"

"Damnit, Envy! No more!" yelled Ed, taking his eyes away from the book and glaring up at the palm tree in the tree. Of course, this action caused Ed to get a good look of what was under Envy's skort. Envy, seeing this, squeaked like the little girl he can be and immediately fell from the tree…some how…

"OMG, Ed, stop being a pervert!" screamed Envy. Ed blushed, the human thing to do in any awkward situation, and denied it right away.

"I am NOT a pervert! You were asking for it! Just…look at how you're dressed! That just SCREAMS 'come here and rape my ass!'" accused Ed, dropping the now forgotten book to the ground, standing up and pointing a gloved finger at Envy. "It's all YOUR fault!" but, really, Ed was just pretending….he had really wanted to see what was under Envy's skort for ages…

…well blow me down and call me Fred, Ed really IS a pervert…

….it's a shame that has nothing to do with the plot line…

Envy, not being the one to quit while he's ahead, replied just as angrily as Ed pretended to be.

"No, it's your fault! It's all you!" said Envy, sticking his tongue out and having a mini tantrum over it. What a fucking bab-

"No, you asked for it!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did not!"

"Did t-….Damnit, Chibi!"

"HA HA HA! I win!"

"Wait….what was the point to all that?"

"I don't remember…."

"Anyway….Why did the chicken cross the road?" tried Envy with the jokes again. Ed screamed frustrated to the sky.

"Why, Envy? Why with all the jokes?" said Ed, sinking to his knees in an over dramatic way. Envy looked confused at Ed, before making up something that turned out to be the truth anyway.

"Can't tell, you'll laugh at me..." Envy nervously replied; bringing a hand up to scratch the back of his head. A nervous habit. Ed took his glare away from the sky, as if god had planned for his life to be a living hell…

….and somewhere right now, god killed a kitten….

…why? Because god just doesn't like Ed's whining…

"You're right, I would laugh. But, please, fell free to tell me anyway!" smirked a happy Chibi, making his way to stand in front of Envy and careful trace his jaw bone with one gloved finger. Envy shivered at the touch Ed gave him, but avoided eye contact.

"N-no Ed…" a new EXTREMELY TO THE MAX nervous palm tree, slowly edging away. But, Ed saw this coming and quickly wrapped an arm around Envy's waist, pulling him back closer. Envy gulped.

"Come on, Envy, I know you want to…" whispered the fucking sexy pervert of an Ed. And Envy's mind came to a conclusion.

Edward Elric, Envy decided, is such a tease.

Having something so sexy so close to you, but knowing if you touched it you're life would become a living hell, was just enough to drive a person insane. Luckily, Envy wasn't a person and was already insane. So, instead of listening to those 'Resist temptation' voices, he chose to listen to the 'take him while he's still hot!' voices.

"Ok….I'm telling you jokes because I love the way you laugh…" said Envy, smirking awkwardly as he looked into Ed's golden eyes. Ed's face immediately tried to prevent the laughter that was dying to break free. Envy saw this and frowned.

"Edo, you promised you wouldn't laugh…"

"I-I'm..not laugh..ing!" Ed somehow managed to speak without any laughter sinking through. But, right before a gasp of laughter was going to sneak out; Envy lowered his head and caught Ed's mouth in a kiss. Ed grinned into the kiss, and pressed his mouth harder against Envy's, moving his hands from the waist and to around Envy's neck. A sound of pleasure escaped Envy's throat, he opened his mouth and tried to pry Ed's lips open with his tongue. Ed's lips opened at the touch of Envy's tongue, and took the liberty to thrust his own into Envy's mouth.

Envy was in complete bliss, as he felt Ed's tongue ran up and down his teeth. He got back to Ed by moving his arms under Ed's shirt and running his hands up and down the spine line. Ed shivered at the touch, and tried to pull Envy closer. Envy's hand soon found its way to Ed's pants waist line, and his hand-

-Crash!-

"Omg, Fullmetal! What the hell are you doing to that palm tree?!?" screeched Roy, just before fainting. Hearing a voice, Ed pulled his lips away from Envy and looked over at the poor fainted Roy. He then sighed and pulled out of the embrace. Envy frowned upon this, but didn't question anything. Ed felt disappointed that the moment was destroyed. He walked back to the tree to wear his book lay, picked it up, sat back down and continued to read. Envy made this way back to the limb above Ed's head. Everything went back to normal…

"Hey Ed?"

"What?"

"Knock-knock?"

…well, almost

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**Ok, ok, I know that was just a biiiiit random.**

**Good? Bad? Do you have elbows? Please Review and tell me!** **Flames** **will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.**

**e/n:**

**I'm back!!! She's back!!! What took her so long to update? Yeah… I was wondering that too… Should I put some pressure on by promising you guys she'll have another chapter/story/oneshot… oh, on Thanksgiving? Can I do that? Hmmm… oh well, Panic, have another chapter by Thanksgiving!!!! Oh yeah, pressure on the readers too, she is not bound to this contract unless she gets five or so reviews. Yeppers, that's all I have to say!!! **

**Byeas!!!!!!!!!!!**


	19. The Pros and Cons of Breathing

**The Pros and Cons of Breathing**

**Hello! **

**I know, this story may be different. I'm an Aussie! And I don't celebrate Thanksgiving at all. I really had no idea what's it about, so just bear with me. Based off the American way of Thanksgiving….I think…**

**Warnings: OOC, Boyxboy goodness and swearing. Rated 'T' because I love the way you make me feel. It's really turning me on. And it is rated 'T' for an reason.**

**I'm don't own FMA!!! Why don't you know this people, why?!?**

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_Thanksgiving. A time where families get together, drink wine and break bread at their tables. A historical event, a time to give thanks to God and everyone else! So buy buy these fabulous gifts from our shop!_

_'What a load of rubbish'_ thought Envy, as he turned away from the shop window, that displayed that sign. He tugged his trench coat closer to himself, as he folded his arms across his chest in a pissed off kind of way. It seemed that everywhere he went today, Thanksgiving was in the air!

People crowded the streets, walking in every direction, trying to find a shop that yet hasn't sold out of anything and everything Thanksgiving. It was a sickening time, watching these poor pathetic humans fight over the biggest turkey in the butchers and super-markets, Envy decided as he stepped over a pathetic mortal lying on the ground, which had just lost a fight for a turkey. Envy just shook his head, and continued on this way down the street.

It was autumn and the days were getting colder as they went on, as the wind blew the trees and the people hurried about, not wanting to be outside any longer then they had to. Clouds clogged the sky, leaving no room for sun light and making everything seem gloomier. Envy took no notice of the cold weather, prancing around in his skort and midriff top. He even didn't bother changing into anyone. But, today he managed to bring a trench coat a long. Even then he was still getting stares. It could have been because of his hair, the way he glared at every person and waved his fist madly at any store which advertised Thanksgiving or maybe because it was freezing out side and he still didn't bother wearing any shoes. Or even, all of the above.

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Edward Elric wasn't a fan of Thanksgiving. The idea of sitting around with other family members didn't appeal to him. But, maybe it's because he doesn't have a family. Let's see, one's dead, one's never around and one's trapped in a giant suit of amour. Not a pretty picture. So, Ed tried to avoid Thanksgiving as much as possible.

He marched down the cold street, hands in his pockets, trying to pull the coat closer to his body without his automail coming into contact with his skin. Automail was a bitch when it was freezing. At the same time, he had to avoid all the busy shoppers looking around for a turkey. Ed kept his hood up and his face focused on the ground, as he twisted and turned his way through the crowds and crowds of people. This, however, still failed as many people still had to push him. Punch him. Step on his foot. Rip his coat. And trip him up, repeatedly

Ed was feed up with these people, and he really needed to get to the Headquarters to hand in the report to the pussy Colonel which had been due 2 days ago. He grumbled inside his head, dodging and nudging people in the ribs just for fun, when a side alley caught his eye. Anything would have been better then walking along this street, as he weaved his way through the still busy crowd and walked through the alley. The alley lead him to the park, which to his joy, was not to far away from the Headquarters that he desired to get to before it got dark. Walking now with a little bounce in his steps, he continued on his way. Shame a hand shot out from out of no where and brought him back against something warm and cold at the same time.

"Hello, Chibi…whatcha doing here?"

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So, maybe Envy's day wasn't completely worthless. He did, after all, manage to track down his all-time favorite Chibi. Alone. With no protection and no brother.

Score!

Envy snuck up behind said Chibi and wrapped an arm around his small waist, while lowering his head and whispered in Ed's ear. Ed, of course, jumped a foot in the air. He immediately struggled against the embrace.

"OMG, let me go, you crazed rapist! I will NOT have sex with you!" Ed shouted loudly, trying to pry himself from who ever was holding him, as he wasn't smart enough to figure it out. He waved his arms around madly and by doing so, hit Envy in the mouth. Envy immediately let go, cursing Ed's name.

"Damnit, Chibi! Why the hell did you do that for?" whined Envy, as he clutched his mouth in pain. Ed had calmed down a bit after seeing who it is, but still was pissed off.

"It's your own fault! If you hadn't come from behind like that, I wouldn't have punched you! I wouldn't have had the need to press my body against yours to try and squeeze out! If I'd known who it was, I would have been like "Envy, Envy! Let go! Oh, Envy, Envy-"

"I know that this won't help, but I'm extremely turned on right now…"

"Shut up! Envy, I'm trying to rant!" complained Ed, as Envy made his way over and took Ed in his arms again. This time, Ed didn't punch or hit Envy in anyway. He was to busy trying to finish his rant from before.

"Look, Envy, hugging me won't help! I'm trying to rant here!-"

"Oh, why rant when your mouth could be put to better use…" Envy finished, whispering in Ed's ear and successfully finished that rant with a suggestive comment. Ed stuttered, feeling his face heat up as Envy took the chance to bit on Ed's ear lobe. Ed closed his eyes, leaned into the touch and made a sound that sounded like a purr.

"You know what Ed?" Envy asked, as he moved his mouth away from the ear for a spilt second before continuing attacking it. Ed had trouble answering that question, as his body reacted to Envy, while his mind tried to focus enough to get an answer out.

"Whahmm?" chocked out Ed, as he brought his hands up and ran them through Envy's hair, pulling it when the feelings bottled up inside came out as a moan.

"You talk too much…" Envy said, before taking his mouth away from Ed's ear and attacking those lovely lips. Ed pouted at the lost of contact on his now bruised ear, but forgot all about it when he felt the heat on his lips. Ed felt the way Envy's mouth moved against his. He gladly opened his mouth when he felt Envy run his tongue against his bottom lips. He thrust his tongue into Envy's mouth, running it over his front teeth.

Envy felt the way his mouth exploded with heat as Ed's tongue entered his mouth. He bit down none to gently on the tongue, making Ed give out a noise that he very much liked hearing. He twirled his tongue against Ed's and-

"OMG, Ed, I wanted to see you because I have a new slutty out-fit that might make you want to take your clothes off! But I see, and hear, that you're way to busy making out with that palm tree so I'm just going to jump off a building!" Winry said, before skipping off. When hearing her stupid voice, Ed pulling his now bruised lips away and stared at the stupid girl in wonder. But, this only lasted a second, as Envy went and placed his mouth on Ed's and went back to licking the inside of Ed's mouth.

Ed decided then and there, that maybe Thanksgiving had some worth to it after all.

And it kind of helped that Ed could hear Winry's high-pitch scream as she did indeed, jump off a building…

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

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**HA!**

**Good? Bad? Loved the Winry-dying bit because I sure did!? Please review and tell me! Flames** **will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.**


	20. Bad Luck and A Christmas Story

**Bad Luck AND A Christmas Story!**

**Omg, another fic by Panic, happy birthday to them! Merry Christmas!!!**

**Yes, I'm back, but this time it's a birthday story/ Christmas story, for a guy in my class with Hair Issues! I'm dead serious; anybody who touches his hair dies. I have a theory that he's gay. He did say that Brad Pit is hot and flirted with another guy in my class 66 times…not that I've counted or anything…**

…

…**ok, ok! Fine! I did count! It was a fun way to get out of work! So sue me! But on second thoughts, don't.**

**Warnings: OOC-ness, Boyxboy goodness and swearing. Rated 'T' because it's the only rating I can write. Yay for all! I got to lazy to write a Christmas story, so I just combined two stories together!! Yay, yay!!**

**And since it's for all!!! Candy canes for all!! Porn for all!!! Whatever floats your boat.**

**Just so you know, I have my eyes on this one T-shirt that says "I Love Boys….with other boys"**

**Shut up, I love it! And it would make a great Christmas present (huge hint for readers ALERT ALERT)**

**I don't own FMA!! If I did, everybody would be gay, and sleeping with each other's cousin's daughter's hairdresser's boyfriend. Or something….**

XXXXXXXXXXX dedicated to Michael Virgin, the guy with the hair issues XXXXXXXXXXXX

Ed woke up with the feeling that something bad was going to happen. He slowly sat up, his golden eyes glaring around the room. But, after 5 minutes of this, and still hadn't seen anything bad, Ed just shrugged and got out of bed. And he was immediately glomped by his stuck-in-a-suit-of-armor younger brother, who was in fact taller then Ed. But, let's not go there right now…

"Good morning Brother!" bellowed Al, the younger brother. He sat of the floor, Ed in his lap…ha ha ha shorty, and gave Ed the biggest bear hug EVER in the history of bear hugs. But before Al could squish Ed to death, Ed somehow managed to wiggle his way out. He took deep breathes, a little flustered and pissed off, but still kind of happy, since his a freak like that.

"Yes, yes, I know. Thanks for that, bro! Ha, I'm a poet and I didn't even realize." Ed said, before turning away and walking into the kitchen part of the military dorm they used. But, not before tripping over the puppy, which had snuck in last night.

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Ed had to report to Roy's office that morning. Before Ed got to Roy's office, he ran into a little bad luck. Ed tripped over the puppy again, got bitten by the puppy when he had tried to throw it out the window, then fined for animal abuse, hit over the head with a frying pan by Al, for trying to get rid of the puppy, broke down the door when he tried to open it, fell over onto his ass 12 times walking down the corridor because he had failed to see the 'wet floor' sign until he crashed into it, opened a office door which had Havoc and Hawkeye making out behind it, got accused of having a three-way with Roy and Hughes, ripped his favorite t-shirt and lost his boat to a dog.

So yes, Ed was having a bad day. But, he tried not to let that get to him. So, he put on a big smile before entering Roy's office. The smile was so fake you could even smell the fake-ness from miles away. Yes, I do know that makes no sense. But the smile was fake. Yeah. Anyway, Ed opened the office door, his eye twitching a little bit, and stepped inside. He immediately regretted it, as the desk was on fire.

"Holy SHIT, Roy?!? WHAT the _fuck _did you do?" shouted Ed, running to transmute some books into a jug of water. He cast a look around the room, and saw Roy still working on the burning desk. "Roy!!" Ed shouted again, amazed that Roy hadn't noticed the burning desk. Did I mention the burning desk?

"Hm? What do you want- HOLY SHIT my desk in on fire!" shouted Roy, before jumping back, tripping over his chair and out the window. Ed was quick to act, running to the window three seconds after Roy had crashed out of it, the burning desk still in flames and forgotten.

"Roy!!" yelled Ed, sticking his head out the window and towards the ground.

"I regret nooooooooothiiiiing," Roy's voice echoed, before the huge splat and everything went silent. Of course Roy didn't die, he's Roy. Without him, who would take Ed to the prom?

"Oh shit! Roy, are you ok?" asked Ed the master of stupid questions. Of course he's not ok!

"Yeah, luckily Havoc broke my fall!" called Roy from bellow, getting off the now dead Havoc. But no one really cared about him anyway.

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Six days later, and it was Christmas Eve. Somehow, Al had managed to smuggle a Christmas tree into the dorm, and decorated, before Ed woke the next morning.

Ed woke up to a nice, pine smelling room, flashing lights and decorations and a homemade pie set on his bed side table. Since he usually didn't wake up to those things, he started to scream.

"Brother! Shut up!" yelled Al, covering his metal ears, which you couldn't see. But Ed didn't stop screaming. He just screamed louder. He only stopped when Al picked up the pie and threw it at Ed's face. Since his mouth was open, he got most of the pie in there. Ed shut his mouth, surprised that Al had thrown something at him, chewed and swallowed. Ed then took a deep breath, in, out, in, out, IN, OUT, IN, OUT, IN! Until Ed was hyperventilating. Big word.

"Ed, Ed! Calm down!" panicked Al, trying to figure out a way to get Ed calm. "Calm down right away or I'll tell the Colonel that you love him!"

Amazingly, Ed stopped right away.

Yeah, right.

"If you must know brother, I'm going to be leaving you this Christmas and going to visit Winry, as a plot point filler for Panic. Enjoy your Christmas! I left a ton of books under our Christmas just in case you get bored! Well, see you soon brother!" said Al, already halfway out the door. He turned and walked through the corridor, not hearing Ed jump out of bed, run to the door and shout something at him.

"Wait, where's my breakfast?!?" Ed yelled, "And, by the way, who the heck is Panic?" but with no answer from said younger brother, Ed just shrugged, walked back inside, sat down under the Christmas tree and picked up the first book. He turned to the start and read. Oh, how he read.

Let's leave Ed where he is, for now anyway…

….

….BOO

Oh right, it's Christmas, not Halloween…my bad!

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And 15 hours later, Ed is just where we left him. Yes, I did say 15 hours…shut up it makes sense! Ed didn't know what time it was, since he ran out of fingers to count on, but he knew he had been reading his stupid books for the entire time. coughNerdcough. His stomach growled loudly, waking Ed up from his evil, evil reading state. He jumped up slightly upon hearing the noise.

_I should really get some food!_ Ed though to himself and true to his word, got up and went to the kitchen part of the dorm. There, he found some fruit in the fridge, sat down and ate it. When he was done eating, he was just about to go back to reading, when he heard a tap, tap, tap sound coming from the window. Thank the lord. Anyway, being the curious little midget he is, he went to go check it out. He stuck his head out, looked up, down, left and right, puzzled for a moment, looked across the sky to see a slowly approaching thunderstorm, squeaked and then pulled his head back in. He stood away from the window shut and locked it, and turned around to some face-to-face with everybody's favourite palm tree, Envy. Now, three guesses to what Ed did, and the first two don't count.

Well, he screamed for the second time that day. Screamed like the little girl he truly is…but that's not the point. Envy had to cover his ears in a sad attempt of blocking the sound. But, as soon as he moved his hands, he dropped a neatly wrapped present to the ground.

"AHHHHH- Oh, what's this?" Ed asked, stopping his screamed to bend down and pick it up. And for the first time in history, Envy was uncomfortable.

"Umm-erm Well, if you-er must know it's-erm um a present for you…" Envy finished lamely, taking a step back from Ed and blushing! AWW, a blushing Envy! How cute!!! Hearing what Envy said, Ed tore open the present, as he hadn't gotten many presents as a child and he was extremely greedy. His breath caught in his throat as he saw what it was.

It was a necklace, with the symbol Ed has on the back of his jacket. That one! (**1**) Grr, the name escapes me….but, hopefully you know the symbol I'm talking about? No? Yes? Anyway, I need to stop interrupting the story!!

Anyway, upon seeing the present, Ed glomped and kissed Envy. This sudden movement and kissing caused Envy to fall other, as Ed furiously tried to pry Envy's mouth open with his tongue. Envy was only freaked out for a bit before shrugging, somehow, rolled Ed off him and kissed him back. Envy opened his own mouth and thrust his tongue into Ed's, sending waves of pleasure down his spine. Ed shivered, enjoying the way their tongues twisted with each other's. But, Ed had to breathe, or his hot and sexy kissing scene could have become a lot hotter and a _lot_ sexier.

Ed pulled out of the kiss, panting slightly.

"Hey Envy?" Ed asked, still pinned to the floor under Envy, of course. Not Roy, if that's what you guys are thinking!

"Yeah?"

"Merry Christmas!"

"Wow, Ed, that was extremely lame…"

"Shut up, you palm tree!"

"Midget!"

"Oh that's it, you are SO dead!"

And that's where we leave out little Edo and palm-tree like friend, on the night before Christmas. Hopefully that can stop fucking trying to kill each other, so they can figure out the meaning of life.

But, they forgot about the wild Pandas…

…

…Merry Christmas!

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**Grr, I got so bored with this story by the end!!**

**Merry Christmas!!!**

**Good? Bad? Never, ever write again? Please Review and tell me! Flames will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.**

**--------**

**( 1) It's the Flamel cross, I think. **

**Okay, rest of the Editor's Note is composed of telling you people to review in the good holiday spirit!!! I'm in a good mood right now!!!! Because I just got out of school therefore my Winter Break has officially started!!!!!! Now kiddies, why dont'cha all be nice and give a Christmas present? And, you guessed it, in the form of a REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kewls, have fun reviewing!!! **


	21. Fugging Awesome

**Fugging Awesome.**

**Whoa, it's been awhile, hasn't it XD.**

**Warnings: seriously, this is the most OOC story ever. Both Ed and Envy are so out of character, I think I should be shot. I really, really do. But, I wanted to write this story SO BAD! So, you guys just have to deal with it, ok? It's also short and hopefully sweet. **

**I still don't own FMA, but I'm working on it.**

**I love everyone who still reads this.**

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Ed stormed through Headquarters, pushing stuff out of his way, knocking paper and people alike to the ground. Anyone who looked his way met his sullen gold eyes and a look that was ready to kill. Some stupid people tried to talk to Ed, to ask what was wrong. But they only got the first bit of the sentence out, because the cold glare Ed was giving them shut them up for good. That, and sometimes a fist, Ed didn't give a shit if they sued him for abuse or not. They got the hint and scurried away quickly, getting out of Ed's range. People soon caught on, and left Ed alone. Many people worried about the small alchemist; talking quietly to themselves about what happened to make Ed this angry.

It totally didn't have anything to do with the fact Ed and Envy had a fight yesterday. And the fight totally didn't end in Envy saying he never wanted to see Ed again.

So when Ed walked into his office, after successfully messing up every office on the way to his own office and getting a lot of people pissed at him, he didn't expect this. Anything but this. Hell, he would even settle for something terrifying, dangerous, like Winry when she's pissed, but instead he got _this_.

'_This_' was his office filled with every flower Ed had ever seen.

It was like a forest. A forest of the most beautiful flowers ever. _Ever_. All bright and colourful. All so fragile looking, soft to touch and easy to break.

Above his desk, between the bright purple flowers hanging on the wall, there was a message on the written in what seemed to be blood. Ed smirked, the smirk turning into a sad smile.

'_Only Envy would have the urge to cover my office wall in someone else's blood._' He thought, his eyes glimpsing quickly over the message and he sighed, turned away and walked out of his office, hurrying to get away from it all. The one word that was on the wall kept repeating itself in his head.

_Sorry._

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After the flower episode in the morning, he didn't except anything else exciting to happen today. He spent the time until lunch ignoring everyone. He knew he was being a bitch, but he really could have cared less at that moment. He thought nothing else could happen to him today.

So when he walked into the cafeteria for lunch, he didn't expect _this_.

'_This_' being a beautiful feast set out on the table spot where Ed sat every day.

The very table was lined with a red and white checker tablecloth, complete with even more flowers (which were surprising different than the ones found in his office) held in vases at different locations, successfully taking up the extra space that Ed didn't need. Most of the table, apart from all the flowers, was taken up with mountains and mountains of food, enough to feed a person or about a year. Ed knew only one person, besides Al, who knew his favourite food was. And his favourite food was there, the centre of the table, mocking him by looking delicious.

Ed stood gaping at the table, anything intelligent that was in his mind before was lost to him. He opened his mouth, finding nothing to say, and closed it again. People would have laughed if Ed's face didn't suddenly turn into something that resembled a monkey's but. Ed then surprised everyone who walking up to the table, clapping his hands together and turning it into a giant "Fuck You." He then walked out of the cafeteria, not bothering with getting any lunch.

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The end of the day couldn't have come any slower to Ed if it tried. By home time, he was ready to murder anyone who even looked his way. Instead of ignoring all of Envy's surprises, like Ed wished they would, they teased him about it all day long, filled with lame jokes and stupid puns. A couple of them placed bets on who the person was, sending the flowers to Ed and making him the lunch. A large majority of the bets were on the Colonel, which pissed Ed off even more.

He chose to slam every door he could find on his way out.

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When he walked into his house that night, after hurrying his way home, he didn't expect _this_.

'_This_' being his whole house lit only by candlelight.

What seemed to be hundreds of candles lead a not very subtle path towards the kitchen. Ed turned to the light switch beside the front door, and tried flicking it on and off. Nothing happened. Ed sighed as he made his way forward. Ed ducked his head in any room on the way there. They were also filled with candles. They seemed to all point towards the kitchen, place in a not very subtle arrow formation, and Ed had nothing better to do but go and see who broke into his house, turned off all the electricity and filled it with candles. But he had a pretty good idea who was behind it all.

His assumption was correct, and there stood Envy in the kitchen, holding a smile candle in one hand, and a note that said Sorry quite boldly on it, as Ed could read it from where he stood. Ed sighed and looked into the concerned, kind of please-forgive-me-without-me-actually-saying-sorry look on his face.

"You know?" Ed asked, walking towards Envy. Envy didn't move, only to raise an eyebrow and answer the question.

"Know what?" Envy replied, out down the paper and the candle, meeting Ed at half way. He slid his arms around the waist of the blonde and waited. Ed looked up to him and smiled.

"You are so fugging awesome."

"Love you too."

They stood in comfortable silence for about a minute, before Ed had something else to add.

"But you're still sleeping on the couch."

"I figured as much."

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**And a lame, cheesy ending to finish off the story.**

**I know they were VERY OOC, but I couldn't help it.**

**Love it? Hate it? Reckon I should just not update anymore? Please review and tell me!** **Please Review and tell me! Flames will be now given to my editor, who will grammar and spell check them and maybe add sentence or two, and send them back to me so I can then send them back to the senders. But, instead of putting me through that hard process, you can just not flame.**


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